Just soothing...

2011-02-19T23:06:00.000+08:00

2009-09-11T00:02:00.001+08:00

Changed to Livejournal!

link mii k :)

Click here

ps not now...

2009-09-08T00:35:00.001+08:00

ps not now...

its hard to act cool.
but i got to do tat,so as to spare mii all e problems all over again. not now, not now.
i dont need another person to be involved in my life. i am tired. be friends isnt it better. only laugher revolvin.Pardon mii for not carry on being friendly to u. cos being nice is not goin to end up good. so let mii stay cool.
dont blame me, its just de wrong time. just know mii on e surface will do, i wan no one to know more. its enough. stay like tat. its tiring.
love makes one weak! ><"

Peeks through e week

2009-09-06T18:59:00.002+08:00

Peeks through e week

Really goin to hit my own record of $200 bucks within 2 weeks.
Hahah!
Karen's birthday went kbox with others, then at night went Arena club.
Met new korean friends at the club, who came here to have their school exchange programme in our
hospitals.

And then comes yam's gatherin,KTV trip with his friends and my friends.
Tis jason brings his past army friends to KTV. funny guys, people go KTV sing, they come here to drink.
n lookin at them drunk. so many 'stupid' things happen. haha...

Anyway there came Jun's clubbin gatherin, with other friends to Em studio.
This time got to see lots of people who love to shuffle.
when people gets more n more, there are so much to see.
New friends, new atmosphere, impressed of jun n others too.

Gt to save my energy for e next comin up activity, the lady's night.
haha....so i am goin to earn money. more more money.
day time work, night time spend. wahha. damn it... so tired...
I wana no time to rest... weeee

Weird world.. weird people... silly me

2009-08-26T22:46:00.001+08:00

Weird world.. weird people... silly me

Isnt it funny when girls r fightin over guys, thinkin
of all e strategies to get e guy's attention. n getting other people's partner seems like a
honour thing to do. got to accept e real world. innocent people!? haha.
tell mi tat i would believe tat...
really no mood to entertain those guys who thought i need their entertainment.
it makes mii feel sick.. all e same.

anyway...just let e world turn faster.
i need tat speedy head spinnin again..
cos it makes e world go faster...

got to accept e fact. i am foolish to realise it late
too late... too foolish...
wish i gt e energy to be like u.
wish i gt e heart to be like u.
enjoyin life like never before!

E world is still turnin

2009-08-26T22:31:00.000+08:00

E world is still turnin

rem tat time i have high fever in school.
i cant even walk straight...
Iz accompany to busstop to take bus.
on e way out, he say i am so sick,
should ask mii bf come fetch mii, send mii home to rest.
HAHA!
well... one sword through my fragile body.
'oh! we broke up recently'
silence.
luckily my brain is not functionin tat time. if not i am goin to
head towards e toilet.
anyway by e time i reach e clinic, e world is turnin around mii...
haha. i just stare blank at e nurse, n try hard to listen to wat she is saying.

just now my dad talkin to relative on phone.
n yap. relative ask my dad about mii.
my dad is still in e dark, so he say i am attached.
another sword into my heart.

actually i dono y i am typin here. i cant stand myself free now.
every single day i would keep myself busy.
i don mind get sick... if only i can don think.
cos it makes me feel more foolish. i can never bear to hurt anyone.
so i choose to let u hurt me. but not e others... i cant stand it long.
give mii e basic respect will u. spare mii from all these 'slaps' on e face.
i am seriously embarrased...

Badly lost tis battle!

2009-08-26T22:20:00.000+08:00

Badly lost tis battle!

so so so long didnt update my blog.
cos everyone is waitin for mii to update on tat.
n maybe ur bet had come through... yeah...
n don need to look at mii tat way.
i admit i lost... n tis time not only lost him,
but also lost myself. lost everything. lost e faith,
lost e face, lost e only confidence i have

yeap.i am wrong after all.
luckily now its holiday time, just only 2 weeks time,
every day in school is torture. cant stand those look.
they feel awkward, i can see e look.
n i still got to put on tat smile...
i look silly, don expect mii to suddenly burst into e toilet.
i am really drained tis time. all those looks, they knew, they saw.
n i got to face all these. face it.
wat u have done to me. RP is so small. everything tat u r doin is watched by others.
n i feel like a fool, waitin for others to explain to mii wat is happenin.

i am wrong. after all...
n i lost. she win. u win. everyone win.

Last year of today

2009-08-10T01:20:00.001+08:00

Last year of today (09/08)

National day. memorable.
Not because of e firework.
But because of wat u whisper to my ear.
Know it can never be true. But it still feel warm
when thought of it. There r so many promises tat r
so sweet,and it would stay. ps: with mii

So many things. so many many many things.
People r laughin at mii... i don care.
At least i once make e choice with my heart,
and i am happy to make tat choice.
Who cares e outcome.

Now i realise its one sided thought.

2009-08-09T23:41:00.001+08:00

Maybe all e while i think too much of myself.
Now i realise its one sided thought.

Tat fri,have my tuition lesson earlier. Rem u said may or may not go out tat day.
I thought tat if i am goin to go find u after my tuition wouldnt u be happy.
i smiled when i thought of tat. So... Straight away when i boared e train, i called u
to ask whether u r at home nt. 1st call no ans, i thought itz always like tat, u may nt heard it.
2nd call still no ans, think u sleepin. so waited for u to call me back. 15 min later reach gombak station,
called again.no ans.I am so hungry. thought maybe later can meet u for dinner. smile*
when reached tutee doorstep,u called. but goin to start lesson. so didnt pick up.
Haiz. tolerate e whole lesson. gastric pain... still teachin. After tat, i called u again. no ans. as usual, i would call another time. maybe straight away go mrt station find u. waited n waited... didnt call back. so i walk really slowly home. n there i am on e bed, fall asleep. haiz.
I just thought too highly of myself.
I thought i thought u would be happy tat i am goin to find u.
I thought i thought u missed my hug like how i missed ur hug.
I thought i thought if i am goin to hear ur voice before goin for tuition, wouldnt tat be nice. smile*
cos i am really tired, so wanted to hear ur voice.
I thought i thought its all i thought. Never did i realise i am being obsessive.
Compared to my friends,I already have so little time with u. So i make it up, by calling u.
so i am being obsessive. Haiz... When u wan, anything can become a reason.
It hurts, no... more than hurts. Its disappointed. so envy u to say 'it' so smooth, never would
i say tat out like e way u say it... cos i know i cant bring it out, cos i know i loved u
*love'ed'. I know i know i know... u just cant seem to bring out a reason. So i helped u. wont need to explain more. I go... i go... tat moment, i swollowed back wat i realise n off i go... All my fault, i believed too much in us... i thought i thought... i thought...
my fault, didnt realise tat only when u not with ur friends, then i can anyhow call to disturb u.
I realise late... understands more. I am just 'heartache'

The end...

N dont leave any comment anyone

Discuss?

2009-07-27T15:41:00.001+08:00

Discuss?

Electives:
Consumer Psychology
Human resource management

Core modules:
Hospitality and Retail Systems I
Manufacturing and Logistics Systems II

Tat will be my final decision by this wed
N i only discuss with friends. Listenin to their advice does helps a little.

Somehow i got to find extra courage to continue moving for this while.
I wanted more concern. i wanted to ...

Arent there times when u know there is a mistake?
N if i am goin to accept the existence of e mistake, will i gain from it?
I dont know.
Got to learn to be more indepence, so tat i will only listen and follow myself.

* today mornin met up with my mates for submission of the FYP
*MM n PY didnt went for class after submission
*N i endure my healthcare lesson tll e lesson end. -.-"
*Lesson ended at 3.15, which is damn early.
Got no where to go, n no fyp today. MM n PY went happy le.
XF sure with her bf.
So for mii, I am very busy entertaining myself here.
Waitin for rain to stop outside.
Waiting for my tuition time to come.
waitin for my mind to clear...
so tat i can store more suggestions.
LOL.

I am goin to pack myself with lots of things.
N there will be one day, i forget wat does lonely means.
:)

zzz. i am goin to fall asleep here. no one around, raining outside.
damn nice weather isnt it. . . got to hang on. ><
still got to face tat curly hair tutee later

FYP submission

2009-07-26T21:57:00.001+08:00

FYP submission

2moro gona be my FYP submission date.
Really really really appreciated e help from my team.
We are so goin to love each other. ><"
Fri meet till after near to 1am.
Sat meet from mornin to sun morning.... (ton over night)
We are so "going to love FYP"!!!
Anyway 2day is e last day for FYP before we burn e CD for our work.
And we are going to meet again later.
Really gona have a big thanks to christ.
I am really gono sink if we had not met him.
Anyway wat we have done this mornin really scared him out of his guts sia.
haha... "We do look like crazy fans!" haha...
Who will be so happening and nice, work till so late and willin to help us without chasing us away.
zzz...
thinkin of pon school 2moro. i really need some good thought and rest...
FYP suxs... but i am lucky to have u all.

2009-07-23T23:08:00.003+08:00

Decision making time

Decided on my core modules for my 2nd semester
1- Hospitality and Retail Systems I
2- Manufacturing and Logistics Systems II

but for my electives i really dono which to take.
Below are the choices which i am interested in. but i know i must choose wisely. but whos there to talk with me?

-event management
-consumer psychology
-Hospitality and Tourism Management
-Retail Management
-Entrepreneurship
-Human Resource Management

I think i am choosing human resource management and consumer phychology. OK. i am still not sure yet.

Loves for e day

2009-07-20T15:00:00.002+08:00

*Loves for e day

Nothin can be better

2009-07-15T00:00:00.004+08:00

Nothin can be better

1) I lost my bag last month

2) My laptop blue screen when i am having my logistic UT

3) Really scribble on my logistic UT last min on paper

4) Got to go Acer face their stupid explanation again

5) Got to bear with the school laptop (which hang often)

6) FYP presentation date is goin to DUE SOON1!!

Changed for the better

1) Police found my bag, still got everything other than HP, usable cards, MP3, cash.

2) I am going to squeeze Acer tomoro- money sucker

3) bought a new hp... (W595) my first pinkie phone :)

4) I found additional job as tutor. tat means $$$. haha

5) I have e best FYP mates who are friends :)

***************

2day don have fyp, its so rare. n e first person i contact

is dear. i wan to spend time with him. even if its just get to hug him.

Getting busier n busier with works and fyp and schooling.

lesser n lesser time spend together

ANYWAY

treat myself better. i got all e time today after school to myself.

2moro i going to Acer early, if not cant make it for FYP

see my 'beloved' Advisor

Quotes for e day

2009-07-06T00:13:00.001+08:00

Quotes for e day

美国心理学家詹姆斯认为：人并不是因为愁了才哭、
生气了才吵、怕了才发抖，恰恰相反，
人是因为哭了才愁、因为吵了才生气、
因为发抖了才害怕。

A pair of flip flop makes my day

2009-07-03T10:29:00.002+08:00

A pair of flip flop makes my day

Today- another Friday.
Good news
No FYP!!! >.<
Brother bought mii a pair of flip flop. *loves
Actually I thought my bro had grow up a lot these years.
Esp he is now willing to contribute to e family.
I only mention to him tat my sandals spoiling le. only yesterday night.
N today he really send mii e available colors for e flip floor to me.
N he rem my shoe size. isn't it lovely.
Anyway, i am paying for it hoh. ><
haha...
but credit first la. 2moro get pay then can pay him. haha..
*****
P.S Enjoyin myself; treat myself better >.<

Really Appreciated

2009-07-02T19:56:00.003+08:00

Really Appreciated

Now still in school, think everyone went home le.
we r still struggling with our FYP.
everyday stay till so late in school.
So hungry...
But without Chris help, i don think we can even went home for dinner.
Appreciated :)
got to treat him someday.
A big one... i don mind.
Super nice of him
How late we stay, he also stay with us...
though often complain, but we knw he is jk with us.
He also have FYP de. but he rush his out and then help us.
If not for him, i am really givin up.
Really give up.
Thanks Chris
>.<
****

FYP deadline is coming. really soon.

Tats when comic strips comes into my Poly life

2009-07-02T14:44:00.008+08:00

Tats when comic strips comes into my Poly life

Thanks to my dear dear
my days in class is more meaningful.
in order to fight against the boringness tat school is providing.
I choose to enjoy my NANA comic strips.
Isnt Nana beautiful!!!
haha... Nice comic to read.
L.o.v.e.s.z.z.z

****

Anyway
Updates on H1N1 in school.
Principle trying to psycho us tat closing RP is useless...
n face e fact, there is no intention of closing RP like wt other schools r doing.
so lets all come to school.
At most, everyone wear mask for lesson loh
>.<
With an absence 'X' and not a LOA.
*****

`****
today temp taking is taken seriously,
cos year 1 came back to school.
N mine don have battery,
thought tis time can bluff e faci over too.
but didnt manage, in e end i borrow Jasmine de thermometer.
(if not i need to go buy leh!!!)
**
anyway yesterday we r informed tat everyone should leave school by 4.30.
think is to avoid crowd in school.
ok. tats kind of useless.
!!!
Cos where r we goin to do our FYP....
We need lots of plucks for our laptop leh
>.<
******

Another idiot day

2009-06-30T14:56:00.004+08:00

Another idiot day

Today have my Marketing.
N with e stress tat e faci gave mii from e previous lessons.
today i still failed to meet her expectation.
I present useless slide again,
n didnt link my slides back to e problem statement.
Haiz...
******
with e increasing cases of H1N1 in school, today our class
only have 3 teams out of 5.
school is getting boring,
and worried of H1N1 every day...
work is getting me madness and worries.
Tis stupid school is really trying to play with our life...
*****
No comment. today suxs.
n best of all. i am stayin back in school 4 fyp again!!!

Lust for tis HP

2009-06-30T00:29:00.003+08:00

Lust for tis HP

Nokia N97
Isn't it a pretty
Falling love with it....
(*over 1000)
Ok! i know wat u r thinking.
back to reality.
tis is e phone i am goin to buy
(*near 300)
>>>

Taking e red with black base!!!
....
Anyway i haven go buy... just u know
analysing. haha.

Got a feeling, i am goin to buy phone with father tis time too.
He is always there for mii... :)
From e first phone till now...
*****

Wats wrong

2009-06-20T02:29:00.003+08:00

Wats wrong

People also going school, i also going school.
N wat did i learn sia.
Now struggling with FYP.
so tired n sleepy.
2moro still got work.
my weekend will be so much "fun"
busy interacting with customers.
Now i am still doing coding. haiz...
how i wish there is someone who can just stay beside me
patiently to help mii with my coding.
I really feel like crying. How i wish tat person is u.
Help mii patiently
*****

Upset

2009-06-19T01:04:00.004+08:00

Upset

I got really upset with marketing faci.
how can she follow e system blindly de.
Just because i didnt submit my quiz?
= grade affected....
really upset with her.
N i really regretted getting up with mens cramp late at around 1am,
just to do her rj before getting back to sleep...
super regret
Life is getting more n more 'interesting'
haha!!!

********
Example of the brick wall

Is there a brick wall in your way?
Fine, that happens. But you have a choice.
You can walk away from the wall. You can go over the wall.
You can go under the wall.
You can go around the wall. You can also obliterate the wall.
The choice is in my hand.

(*wish i can do this... always stay positive. cant i just see things in e bright side)
somehow i don dare to see e bright side. once u get to see e darkness,
u don dare to enjoy e daylight.
Encouragement to myself...
Be strong... i am goin to survive to see my 2moro

Special Thursday

2009-06-19T00:34:00.003+08:00

Special Thursday

Today went to causeway with Dear
Bought his DVD
Then decided to have lunch there too.
Searching from the basement to fourth level, in e end back to level one.
WE HAVE PIZZAS
haha! Dear treat mii tis meal.
*(chu know owe u a lot of meals le, next time got money treat u bah.haha)
So haven eat i am already very satisfied le.
Ok! when we are looking through e menu, we are already very hungry le.
so we ordered tis 1-for-1 pizzas.
1 big BBQ cheese chicken which comes with 1 medium pizza.
When it arrived, it really seem so big. E menu seem so misleading.
So....
I manage to get 2 big pieces n 2 medium ones into my stomach.
While for e rest... of cos goes to my beloved dear.
haha... n i am e one complaining that e pizzas is taking so long with mii starving down there.

After finishing our super filling dinner.
Really no energy to shop.
Bought 1 bubble tea drink then went dear home le.
N fall dead asleep with dear mumbling beside mii...
ok. i am subconscious only k. still listening, just not answering.
i am so sleepy then, n now i am so wide awake but dear go sleep 1 hour earlier le.
haha...
I wish tat we are like handphones, at night fully charged then whole day can be
full of energy.
like tat i can spend more time with dear le.

*******

Wats e worst thing

2009-05-12T15:19:00.005+08:00

Change e worst

*Simply love tis folder from u. Its not empty,there is a reason why u smile (:

E worst thing is when u r not suppose to feel lonely,
but yet there is sense of loneliness.
E worst thing is when wide awake, but u feel so tired.
When u r suppose to be happy, but somehow cant find e reason
to be happy.
Somehow when u r suppose to do well in daily module, u didnt get e
grade u want.
Somehow when u really need someone there, u cant find anyone.
When u r so hungry, u just cant get e food into ur stomach. haha.
cos u don feel like eating when e food is in front of u.
somehow u just can see or feel e same as u should have.
When u really wanted to be nice towards parents, e words comin out from e
mouth just don seem right.
Parents are e only ones who stands right beside me. isnt it.
love those who love u so much.

Happy 1 Year Anniversary

2009-05-11T00:22:00.005+08:00

Happy 1 Year Anniversary

*E story begins

*E story continues...
with lots of love n love

The reality

2009-05-10T23:55:00.005+08:00

The reality

*Being loved is wat keep mii going on

Yesterday talked online with a senior who graduated from RP.
He told mii a lot of the study life in RP, and the world out there is much more worst than
wat we r facin in school.
He let mii understand tat in order to survive, u got to show to the Faci how much u worth.
No matter how much effort u put in in class, but if u get poor grades for the UTs(exam),
u still wont get the "nice treatments" from the Facis.
He told mii tis "If u r e boss of the company, u prefer someone who can bring in sales to the
company or someone who always work till so hard but brings nothing to the company"

Now is my third year in RP, n i began to see so many stuffs which i had not wanted to believe they actually existed. Everyday be ready on your guard, be sure that the Faci know tat
u are doing work. If not even when team members gona backstab u,
u also got no idea why ur grade for e day is so lousy.
Other people can act one face infront of faci, another face with u. But who care,
tis is e reality, the Faci wont care so much about your "backend"effort. All she want
to see if whether e problem of the day is being solved not. Isnt tis e reality.
In e workforce, e boss wouldnt be interested whether how much nights u have spent in company just to finish the proposal. All he is interested is how much profit does ur proposal brings to ur company.

I got tis comment for the day for one of my module.
" To do well, your final output is just as important as your effort."
So my effort is there, but just because i presented my solution wrongly, wat i deserved from my effort for e day is flushed down the drain.

I have always believed that be good to others, u will get e same treatment back.
but after e conversation with my senior, i got to believe tat there r still people out there who
step on u in order to climb higher.
I cant bear to do tat, but for now i should always remind myself to beware of my back.
who knows right. e one who seems to work with u so fine, may be e one who backstab u.
its hard to let myself enjoy going school anymore.
i seem like going to battle. haha.
But its always good tat i have so many nice friends in school who can share my troubles with them. there are so many nice friends around mii...
tats how i survive through. :)

IT advance

2009-04-29T01:10:00.003+08:00

IT advance

Did i mention tat my desktop spoiled?
so tat means my brother is sharing my laptop.
n my cousin will be using my laptop during weekend when he is coming over.
N now more interesting, as if 3 people sharing e laptop is not enough.
My parents also join in e 'Fun'.

Have webcam videoing with relatives from China. First my father sit there in front of my laptop for hours. i waited fall asleep. then i am woken up by my mom's super loud voice.
n realize its already 10 plus. N e relatives from e other side keep taking turns to talk to my parents.
But really cant comment on tat cos my mom haven seen them for many years.
N from her tone of voice. YEs! we all know she is overjoyed to see their faces.
So there goes e "u look thin, u look fatter, we all grow old" type of conversations.
N i fall asleep again.
I wanted to tell my mum to chat another time cos i haven done 2 RJs including evaluation n quize. But i cant bare to do tat, cos its really rare for mum to see this group of relatives as they migrate to another part of china for business for quite few years.
So i waited n finally able to get my laptop back around 11 plus.
N i really panicked, but still manage to finish both RJs on time n evaluations.
Pwwww..
haha. yes!!!

N to remind myself, i heard my mom mention something about continuing using e webcam conversation 2moro with e relatives again. *faint* HAHA

Flowers

2009-04-29T00:50:00.004+08:00

Flowers

there are 2 types of flowers,
one survive in e wild, most friends thought i am able to survive on my own.
Independent, able to take care of myself.

Another type of flower which is being taken care off.
So everyday there will be watering n often trimming of the leaves.
People thought extra care should be given to u as u wont be able to take care of yourself.
U deserve to be treated with more care as u worth a lot of money and time.

Its just tat u dint met e chance
to been brought home by someone to take care of?
Is it because not worth e time, cos its just a flower from e wild.
No money is spent on buying, thus no mention about e time to spent on taking care of.

Even though u are being brought into e home, but e owner somehow still thought u r a wild
flower thus u will be able to survive well without his extra care.
N there u are, near to the window yearnin for e rain n sunshine outside.

so which type are u? hahah

Interesting Lesson

2009-04-28T15:27:00.003+08:00

Interesting Lesson

Today we are having sales marketing.
No presentation slides to work on.
We used Skype to make cold calling with between the class n our group.
From another class, we use skype to seal down an appointment with e Faci in another class.
all types of questions and situations created by the Faci.
Even hang up our call before we finish talking. HAHA.

rather tiring but kind of interesting. New concept n there r more to go for this module.
Haiz. rather difficult to get grade cos we got no slides or research to talk about.

Monday Bluey...

2009-04-28T00:28:00.005+08:00

Monday Bluey...

Classmate says this "Mon is blue color, then how about Tue?"
Well, i hope its purple color. At least not so coldly as Blue.
Anyway Tue is Sales Management, n hopefully tis Faci is not someone who favors e guys loh.
cos still cant figure out from e grade tat he gave mii.
Maybe 2moro i should be more manly? haha

Anyway updates here
* Spent my Sat doing housework and went to Dear de house, Sun work full
* * Done my first ear piercing for my first customer who walk straight into my shop.
(haha. I am so nervous but still act as a professional sia...)
anyway e customer still survives after e 2 bullets. LOL
*** Today Have a horrible day in school cos i did not do well in research n presentation.
(My group only mii 1 girl, so e discussion rate= i ask, they talk)
But still ok, stil able to survive n discuss through. Bt still nt enough, esp when
Faci said "ur team today very quiet hoh" OK! there comes e visualizing of ur grade. HAHA.

E Worst is i haven finish complyin my team members slide n my slide not finished, Faci wanted us to present earlier today n WE R E FIRST TO PRESENT.
N worst of worst, 1 of my team member go causeway, still nt back to class and the slides tat he is charged off is the main part to ans e problem statement for e day.
So... I start to do his work, luckily got Issaz help sia.
N i can feel faci de eyes on mii, as if i haven finish my work on time. HAIZ.
In e end, my own slide got problems as i am not able to defend myself due to unfinished research to support my words.

*** Today have my Theory car test, I FAILED anyway
there goes my time, my money n my rare chance of free evening to sleep at home
Went to take e test myself, really really really feel like goin home.

reached e driving centre 1 hour earlier, e examinater thought i goin for e test sia.
waited outside e room, and noted few of the funny actions done by those who come out after completing their test.

- tis guy simply walk out, turn 1 round, crush his piece of test information paper N there goes
into the dustbin. LOL
- tis girl just drift out of e room to beside her bf seat, n her bf said 'failed ah' LoL. obvious ma.
still joke with her n say so easy still failed ah. in e end e gf don let him hold hands. HAHA.

....
Cling on to myself

There goes my new Job

2009-04-24T23:53:00.004+08:00

There goes my new Job

** can see mii? haha... tats taken during e Pula Ubin trip last year
totally random photo k.

updates on e Sakae Job yeah.
Rem in my previous post, i mentioned about my interview tis Wed?
In e end phone e Jess (HR) manager told her tat i am too stuck with school project.
N i am really surprised cos she actually didnt talk to mii in harsh tone or watever.
isnt tat nice of her :)
Anyway back to e topic, i lost tis job. Because gt to contribute to FYP.
now only got one day available during weekend to work.
HAHA. who interested wan to give mii allowance?
i can help u do housework. haha...

Anyway lets faced e front n walk straight...
Stay on to my old job, n EARN BIG MONEY!!! hehe :)

More impt thing come first, tis comin Mon going to have my basic theory car test.
N i actually forget abt tis. so don ask mii how much have i prepared k. hehe.
Jia You. :) anyway don ask mii y i decided to take e car test. esp when i mentioned
before tat get a husband to drive can le. HAHA.
Will update on my result bah. or maybe not. tat does depend on whether i pass not.
hehe

LEARNING TO BE INDEPENDENT ><

Updates

2009-04-24T23:37:00.003+08:00

Updates

** tis photo taken during first Year Sem 1, memories ah

Today's module really impressed mii, cos my Faci know so much about e module.
She got so much of personal knowledge n experience in the Health care organizations.
She feeds us with so much extra knowledge, n i found myself most of time nodding my head. HAHA.

From wat e Faci told us, today will be more theory work as we will be introduced to SG de healthcare groups, the organizations, patient process in hospitals, healthcare services tat is available and the IT system tat is used in Health Care Sectors.
Amazing about how the expanding speed of Health Care Sector in Singapore is.
N we are also been introduced into the business systems which is used in Hospitals.
Haiz! "So looking forward" HAHA.
Life ahead wont be easy as there will be alot of hands on rather than theory.
Faci already remind us to be prepared tat there wont be time for break anymore.
tat doesnt sound appealing at all. isnt it!!!

yesterday have Manufacturing N Logistic System, so much things to learn. Just like all e other days module. Totally New n i am busy digesting.
Hope one day i will say this loud
"Oh! tis is so delicious" !!! HAHA

Actually tired is one case, but i feel happy somehow.
Maybe tats how challenges change a person, u feel tat everyday is so busy.

Updates & more updates

2009-04-24T23:13:00.005+08:00

First Weekend

school started for a week, n i am wordless to describe how i look forward to tis weekend.
i am exhausted. hhaha. but actually only gt Sat to recharge,
n Sun will be working for whole day.
Busy with lessons everyday, really! Never have i feel so "Happy"!
cos i really stuffed alot of information to my brain for each day.
All e facis' for each of my module are demanding, they except more from us esp now we are in Year 3. Be always prepared for bullets from both Faci and your classmates.
ITS SO CHALLENGING!!! zzz
n where does all those "nice nice" type of Faci went to?

Stop thinking tat be a good student, pay attention in class, participate in discussion with team members/class, present your slides well will be enough!
cos everyone is doing tat well, more than enough. N u can see how competitive each day is.
Everyday u learn ways to impress your Faci with deep research and extra understanding.

With e new school system, school days are so challenging, cos everyone rushing for break. ** Think e food haven reach the stomach, we already in class doing our research.
FYP flu is all around, after lesson meet the FYP mates for FYP discussion.
With our eyes all half close, we struggle through e discussion. HAHA

with our big ambition to do well for FYP, we started to panic since e first day of schoool.
haha. Arent we so kio su? almost everyday stay back after school.
"We simply love one another"
everyone is so good, so competitive, to be outstanding u got to have something extra to prove
to the Faci. Jia you yeah to mii!!!

SMILE (:
I love my self

FYP MADNESS

2009-04-24T19:38:00.006+08:00

FYP MADNESS

Three gals team today. In order to treat her three FYP lovers for kbox,
our dear MeiMiao forsake her responsibility to join us for our extremly depressed FYP discussion, super love her luhh!!!
but today without her no much songs to sing.
Discussed abit on our specs and we have to wait for the supervisor
to go through before twe can proceed on with our ERD.

*** this post is being shared by the 3 gals team for the day. HAHA

***Thanks XueFang de BF for drivin mii home today. haha

豁然开朗

2009-04-15T00:35:00.003+08:00

豁然开朗

*（simply fall in love with chinese all over again, just finish reading tis book today n quotes these sentences from e books） n it is killing mii to type in chinese. nearly smashed e laptop cos cant find e correct word. haha. Enjoy understanding.

人生只不过是一场带着行李的旅行，我们只能不断地向前走，并且沿途抛弃沉重的包袱。《德川家康》

假如别人指责你，是对的，那你没有资格生气；假如别人指责你，是不对的，那你又何必生气呢？因为是他错！《西谚》

当命运递给我们酸溜溜的柠檬，加点糖吧！试着把它变成柠檬汁。

不为失去的而悲，而为拥有的而喜。你可以说，这是逆向思考，也可以说这是转念。

我们的迷失就在于- 总想等一切的问题都解决，所有的美梦都实现，以及那张欲望的单子都填满，却不懂得享受手中已有的幸福。

Love to see ur smile

2009-04-13T19:33:00.004+08:00

Love to see ur smile

Lets forget about my previous post.
lets talk abt smt happier k.
yesterday is my dear's birthday.
have a surprise for him at his house.
went to market to but food ingredients and go everywhere to find e basil leaves for
1 of my dish. haiz. really e most difficult thing. cos my 2 hands are going to drop very soon.
with the cake n ingredients for 3 dishes. n my own bag. all i thought of is to walk faster
so i can see my dear earlier.

when reached dear's house, he is still sleeping.
so i went on to peel e prawn skins. n my hand is trembling.
haha. i think is cos of my hands going numb just now.
so i took quite a while to peel finish.
anyway i told auntie tat dear's listening very good one, he sure knows tat i am outside.
especially when he didnt even call/msg mii to ask my location.
n he really knew i am in his house already, but act dono n stay in room. LOL

*(dishes tat i cooked for dear, all thai food cos dear love it)

Sticky rice balls
(inside is sweet with brown sugar, outside tasted like pandan)

Garlic shrimp stir fry

(sweeten with lemon)

Moo Kraprow (pork with Thai Basil)
with lots of chilli n garlic
(dear says not up to e standard of real Moo Kraprow)
cook rather too much, cos tis e main dish tat i dear love alot n thought maybe he wont
have enough. haha. then buy too much in e end.

My 3 dishes lay on e table
(e best thing tat i love in cooking is when i saw tat all e food on e plate is finished)

Next coming up is e strawberry cake. Yummy. haha

~~~~
After resting in e room, we went to city hall to buy a effector which is my present for Dear.
but i know if i buy i sure by wrong, cos i know nothin about musical intruments.
but too bad when we went there, e shop already closed, cos its Sun, they closed around 2 plus.
haiz...
Nvm. we change plan, have our dinner at e nearby foodcourt.
then we go watch our most interesting movie.
<<>>
really very nice n interestin movie. haha. laugh all e way.
its really good tat dear's birthday ended with a nice movie n he is happy.

~~~
after e movie, its already over 11.30. n e building is closed, so we make another way
to e mrt station. n went e wrong side, luckily dear know e way to bring us back n just in time for
e 2 min last train. HAHA.
~~~
a very enjoyable day with dear. really.
happy birthday again. :)

Idiot Monday!

2009-04-13T19:08:00.002+08:00

Idiot Monday!

I really wan to put blame on some1, but i dono who's at fault now.
should i blame e one who forget to call and tell e human resource manager tat i am coming over? or should i blame e manager at Sakae for not telling mii earlier when i call him before going up to e building? should i blame e one who didnt summit my personal information up?
AND WHO SHALL I BLAME FOR WASTING MY WHOLE AFTERNOON TODAY!!!

I purposely call back to Sakae n Look for e manager, n
felt satisfy for the apology.
I didnt accept ur payment of my fare trip, COS I BLOODY THINK TAT ITS NOT ENOUGH.
~~~~

for everyone's information, its e anger inside mii tat rules over mii.
not e damn bus and mrt fare.
I took one hour train to Paya Lebar, go to e wrong side of e bustop n waited.
then go to e right ride of e bustop to wait all over again.
cos of e construction going on there, these two bustops are not facing across the road.
I make e effort to not explode under e sun. n board e bus.
luckily i arrive at e right stop, rather satisfy with tis.
BUT i got lost after alighting. bloody hell, tell mii its at e Irying road.
cant e assitant manager tell mii tat e main building is inside the small road tat
connected to e Irying road.
I am like one stupid fool tat walks up n down tis Irying road to another dono wat road.
n when i call to ask, e manager tell mii tat its all e way insde the small road.
NVM. all my fault la.

N when i finally found e building, n find e damn lift, n saw e receptionist, n saw the damn
human resource manager.
N recive tis stupid n dono wat type of reason after letting mii sit ther to wait for her to
confirm why i am here!!!!!

she said no one informed her, n now interviewing mii is not in her schedule.
go n die la.... all e fire inside mii explode! WITH A SMILE SOMEMORE.
wat she sounds to mii is tat wat she have now is VERY IMPORTANT.
N MIIIIIII! I am only someone, a girl who wasted her afternoo.
damn u damn u. its paya lebar leh, for ur information.
its not ur fault tat u r not informed, but u can at least say some thing more worthy to
calm my emotion at tat moment. u didnt even say something tat sound like apology to mii.
wat am i now huh.
i waited for so long, just for u to confirm n come out n tell mii tat i am not in ur schedule,
n will call again to confirm with mii again.
bloody ass. all these time when i am waiting. cant u interview mii.
i took 2 hours to get to this damn company!

~~~~~
OK , I AM DONE WITH TIS FOR TODAY.
i am cooling myself.
n through spending money.
for everyone's information, i bought 3 tops n 1 shoe, 3 two pin plug, n cut my hair.
N NEARLY BOUGHT NEAR TO $60 OF HAIR CONDITIONAL N SPRAY.
lucky i stuck myself in e library for e rest of my time.
if not..... haha.
~~~
actually i don really sound so pissed like wat i posted above already.
most impt, i just felt tat i m not treated like wat i should deserve.

Lovely Us

2009-04-13T11:53:00.005+08:00

Lovely UsTaken during last Christmas, tats Us walking on e street
*taken by Sandra

New member

2009-04-13T11:18:00.002+08:00

New member

Good, i have 10 min to type tis post,
cos gonna go mop e floor before goin to Paya lebar for e injection
which is needed for my new job (Sakae Sushi).
Needle on my arm! shit... PAIN i can feel now
ok, tat wil be worried by mii later. haha.

well! Just now my new machine arrived with BIG glory! HAHA.
cos its rather big size, and when it take over e place tat my old machine stood,
its rather obvious tat my kitchen is getting smaller. haha.
well, kind of sad tat e old one left with the delivery men.
N I actually forget to "pat" it before it went off. HAIZ!
I think i am too overjoyed by e new one.
N tat is really bad of mii, i can say tat.
mmm. e old 1 is with us more than 10 years le.
Good bye le. N i done something more guilty.
cos i only took photo of e new machine, but didnt take a photo of e old small machine.
i am really really really bad, aren't I!

~~~~~~~

preparation for Dear's Birthday feast

2009-04-10T20:29:00.004+08:00

(= preparation for Dear's Birthday feast

(10th april)
today is a Fri. not working. went for interview then happen to bump onto my father when
going to buy ingredients for the food.
just rained, n i am rushing home so bad things happen.
i slipped down the grass slope. ok! tats pain n my short n bag dirtied with mud.

now home le. n i am goin to try out cookin with e ingredients.
I am goin to cook Thai food for Dear, rather difficult to find e ingredients.
still lookin for the Basil leave (thai).
All e best to mii. i am goin to try out now.
my butt is pain any way. haha.

>>>>>
finally can sit down to use my lappy.
with my hands glowing red n itchy n hot.
i cant describe how my hands feel now, cos its pain n hot n itchy as a result of scrubbing
too much chilli just now. no matter how i wash my hands, the hot itchiness is still there.
still manage to finish the 3 dishes, with my whole family as guinea pig. HAHA.
SO i conclude my 3 dishes is successful.
i cant type too long. cos my hands are going really warm n pain itchy on my warm laptop.
~~~~~

tats all for today, with dear going off to Malaysia with JJ to early celebrate his birthday,
i guess i am going to sleep without saying good night to him le.
anyway today have my interview at Sakae sushi
(rather surprise tat i still manage to "get the job")
cos i actually hang up e manager's phone when she called mii when i am sleeping.
still got to go for injection before i can start work. Haiz...
N today got to buy a Washing machine with father.
thank god i am not goin to wash clothes with my hands anymore by tis monday. hahaha.
Plain lazy isnt it. 375 bucks for a samsung washing machine.
n father treat mii eat curry fish head for dinner. really happy cos rarely get to eat with father outside. n only two of us.

tas all for today. my hands are really sizzing hot.

My 'special' Monday

2009-03-30T22:59:00.005+08:00

My 'special' Monday

(taken during my 19th birth)

Today is Jordan's birthday, a group of us go visit him at Kun Ming Shan.
Sorry jordan tat we appear to be short of words.
U know its difficult to talk to a photo n imagine its u.
Our birthday wish is sincere n really hope u will be happy up there.

Have dinner with ur dad, left a seat for u too.
Hope u enjoy ur birthday with us.
Every year we will celebrate all of our 'Family's Birthday together, n i am always very happy
to see a big group of us come together.
U will still be with us for our every gathering, we wont forget u.
Today really have a nice dinner with ur dad joining.
U have a very interesting n caring dad. N we know more abt ur childhood moments.
:)
this birthday gathering still have birthday girl peixuan n birthday boy benjamin.
"Its hard to forget e momories"
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U"

I really enjoy each gatherings with this group of friends.
all e funny memories from sec to poly n even to our adult hood.
I really appreciate this friendship.
I only know tat i am always laughin when i am with u all.
"THANK YOU ALL"

My usual Sunday

2009-03-30T00:14:00.006+08:00

My usual Sunday

My usual sun with unusual people :)
when servin customer, i accidentally saw a familiar face lookin at mii.
haha!!! Its HuiMin (ex classmate) yeah. both of us are surprised to see 1 another.
cos we r workin at e same place, same floor n only till now tat we realize our existence.
Kind of sad, too late to realize her existence at RC workplace. haha.
if not, it will become 1 of my motivation for work yeah!

Today being told tat e pushcart is only for 2 more days, then e contract will be due!
No worries, still have my work at J8.
I wan it to last but at e same time i wanted better jobs with attractive incentives.

Rather sad in e mornin cos customer broke our only mirror tat is for sale,
which cause 49.90. I am supposed to ask her pay, but stupid mii just happens to be soft-heart ed at e wrong moment. I actually think tat askin her to pay so big amt is not a good idea. "she also dint do it on purpose de'
N i actually let her off!!! Haiz... as a result i am bad mood for e whole day.
How m i goin to ans to boss right! n things broken always give mii a moody day.

Haha. but i seems to be happier when HuiMin bring her bf to say hi to mii.
it just makes mii happy :)
Sorry for e look on my face
how can i put it in 1 word? atonished??
haha... well, just surprised :)
not bad, her bf came down to find her for lunch, its a happy sight.

***

no 1 understands wats love, n love has no meaning.
I stand there in e middle, lookin at all e couples who work past.
young ones or married ones, holdin hands.
I can actually just stare straight at tis pair of close young couple kissing away infront of mii.
just thinkin hard wat is tis love between them.
when tis bf pay for watever e gf choose from my shop, i smile to e guy thinkin wat is their love. when tis bf just stand at e side takin out his novel to read while letting his gf to finish browsing at e jewelleries, i smiled n thought wat is love.
when tis bf come to buy smt for his gf, n smile happily at e one jewellery tat he chose, i smile too :)
when u r in love, u no need to tell anyone, cos everyone can see from ur face, ur words n ur smile.
****
As usual today hurt my finger as usual. as usual missed e train on purpose.
2moro goin to visit jordan with e rest.
when u haven accept e fact tat he is gone, u seems to be happier,
but now everything seems so clear tat i am not visitin him in person, my eyes blurred.

things cant be changed
hurt always recover with pain
broken vase cant be one piece again
lies n betrays left with only scars
today is tomorow, tomorow is another of today

when things cant be forced, just let it be.
when u forced to hang on to it, u still suffers when u have it.
who don wan to live it to e fullest right:)

I also wan confirmation

2009-03-23T21:54:00.003+08:00

I also wan confirmation

*i also cant rem who give mii this (its gone already)

Lookin at people around mii, i realize most of us need confirmation.
whether in e things they do or the dreams tat they have.
N confirmation does not means everyone can give u tat.
So we would look for someone u trust, u love and most imptly.
U know tat tis person will confirm u n get rid of ur unhappy thoughts and support u.

Well i can say tat i dont get those from my family.
Lookin at other children's confident smile when their parents come to support them,
whether big things or small things. I will always smile happier than them.
cos i wan to act like i got more loved ones to support mii.
Dumb mii!

She can be prettier, he/she can be more clever, more caring, more anything...
N i know e most tat i am not tat good. whether being a Gf, daughter, student and a sis.
But everyone needed a confirmation from others.
n dis confirmation msgs like "she really tat good?" does hurts. So give everyone e confirmation tat they needed, whether u agree with them or not.
its does not feel good when everytime u got to hear from someone is tat u still have things to improve or things to change.
No one is perfect, n being with ur loved ones who accept ur imperfect feels lovely.
Since e day i am borned, i am not feeling accepted.
which results in this present mii for wanting be accepted,
all i know is "more friends is better than enermy"...
N to come across ones who accept u for who u r is fortunate n lovely...

:)
in order to be accepted, i changed over the years.
for those who have know mii for years would understand.
I changed every year... whether its good or bad.
n changin for people is very tiring...
N depressive when u r not able to do tat..
:(

My work!!!

2009-03-22T01:19:00.004+08:00

My work!!!

my work as sales assistance is getting out of my mind already.
i thought i enjoy this job, but end up feeling more restless as
days went by. My work is simply like this
*serve n help customers
*repair for customers
*listen to complains n get scolded for nothing
*be polite n don ask them F off...
N don complain when ur noodle get dry when listenin to customers complaining

i am just tired ba, esp when dint have good rest these 2 nights.
so lack of sleep does do e magic,
which is raise my voice at customer
(opps, i dont normally do tat)

I wanted a new job, n i m lookin for one.
but outside are lookin for full timers, no vacancies for part timers.
my situation now is (workin with my soul flying off)

zzz... so i drawn pictures, read magazines, play hp games till no battery n DAZE at no where!

(draw a kitty to have more sales-plain sleepy)

haahah. i am just restless, maybe i have lost e enthusiasm in tis job.
i wanted to learn new things n most impt, i wanted a job with colleagues working with u.

Leng's Birthday

2009-03-22T01:04:00.006+08:00

Leng's Birthday

I know a bit too late to update on this.
haha...but nvm.
lets share about this special day.
(with photos)
Really hope Leng happy on tat day. haha...
hope e surprise with our food does makes her happy :)

(idiotic photo by Ting) LOL

(hope u can see we prepared spaghetti here) HAHA!

(N it does taste nice loh) HAHA!

(best companion) hahah!

(isnt it cute as a present) :)
(ate at tis new restaurant at marina square: TANG DIAN WANG)

happy birthday to leng :)

My New Sem ahead!!!

2009-03-22T00:38:00.006+08:00

My New Sem ahead!!!

(took this when at work. see e magic of editing)

Just came home from work, 2moro got to go with Ting to changi
Airport to send Shan n e rest to China.
Just learned about my new Classes*
which means 4 different classes for everyday with diff classmates.
God!

i cant imagine how m i goin to survive through.
the school system changed,
New UT gradin to adapt,
new school timing to adapt,
new classmates to adapt,
new FYP team to adapt,
I AM GOIN TO STRUGGLE THROUGH...

Haven even start this new sem,
N i have already being discouraged.
one word
SIANS*

Below are my new classes.
Day 4 - Healthcare Applications 1 (C367) @ W67F-C
Day 3 - Manufacturing and Logistics Systems I (C361) @ W67A-C
Day 2 - Sales Management (B217) @ E56P-B
Day 1 - Marketing (B216) @ E56P-B

FYP NAME
PORTFOLIO MANAGEMENT SYSTEM

Looking at wat i have chosen for my course,
i am now more confused of my future. really...
being one with goalless is tiring.
though there are still familiar faces in my new classes,
but the one tat i wish to see is not there.
fated? is it a good thing... HAHA
SIANS DOUBLE

My weeks ahead

2009-03-16T13:35:00.003+08:00

My weeks ahead

It will be busy, i think...
tryin to keep myself as busy as possible.
Nothin is as safe as money goin into pocket.
hahaha.

Just changed my blogskin, n tat is only done once in a while.
cos everytime when i change it will mean only one thing.
"Changes"
I am still lookin around for nice features to add in to my blog.
So it takes a while before i have some nice contents in my blog.

just have hot milo for my tired day... to warm my stomach.
then realise it is lunch time, so cook noodles. But after few swallows,
i am full...
so i am here typin.

Went for leng's birthday yesterday. (will update one post with photos on this)
went for QTing's birthday yesterday. (will update one post with photos on this)

*life can be so interesting n fun... but nothin is forever, n now i prefer to enjoy only
the moment.

for the past 2 weeks

2009-03-06T18:39:00.006+08:00

For the past 2 weeks

Decided to use photos to take over words...

bye bye vinci

2009-02-13T12:20:00.007+08:00

BYE BYE vinci!!!!

I hate 2009!
besti left to Australia....

I will really miss her

bless him

2009-02-13T12:17:00.002+08:00

Bless him

Sotong, we wanted u to recover this single min.
Back to us! Back from the black world.
We are here waitin for u. Walk faster,
walk out of the black world.
use ur heart to feel the way out, walk faster.
We don wan to lose u. Please do us a favor,
walk faster, back to us.

different angle

2009-01-31T00:15:00.004+08:00

Different angle

When waiting for train at Jurong east after work,
someone tap my shoulder, its my senior edmund.
so qiao, i am like "ehhhhh its you ah"
haha.... then realise he also working at raffles city today,
maybe we took e same train also dono. lol...
we chat about our jobs, then he suggest mii to change job with better pay,
cos now i having holiday also.
but i just plain lazy to change....
a new job need adapt to alot of things...

today really a big day, get scold by customers. stand there
for so many hours with no customers to entertain mii... (hehe)
life is full of unbelievable thing (random thought)

today i bought I magazine to kill my time at work.
(cos its e cheapest, U magazine no stock le)
read something interesting
"every outcome of things depends on how u look at it,
different angles of viewing will give u different effects and results"
"u shouldn't reappear in my life, but i am glad tat it don't hurts anymore"

THE END

1st day

2009-01-30T23:51:00.003+08:00

1st day

Today is the first day tat dear went to thailand.
i ask my self to wake up earlier to give him a call,
but end up 7 am then wake up.
when msg dear, he dint reply. i panic, so i call him, its shut off...
for one moment, i feel down...
i know he had already boarded the plane,
but somehow i just feel tat he is so far from mii... i just feel panic, down.

dear, i only receive 1 msg from u today.
i am waiting for ur call...
u told mii don call u, don reply u...
so i am waiting....

wat are u doing now?
having fun?
should be very busy, unlike mii....
just came back from work, bathed and now blogging...
i am so tired.
2moro working, sunday also working. monday meeting. tue, wed.... working.

Dear I MISS YOU BADLY

Feeling light-hear ted

2009-01-24T00:06:00.003+08:00

Feeling light-hearted

today is the last day of my year 2.
during 2nd breakup then pon lesson le.
went with dear n ben to IT helpdesk to fix his VPN connection.
well, my predicted module grade for this module is C+, and i pon for the last day.
n i am sure i can get good grade today,
just feel light-hearted.

Dear going to left for thailand trip soon, its only this coming thurs.
2moro i work full, sun i work till 3pm (chinese new year eve), mon, tue new year time.
so i get to see him for wed, not for the whole day still.
just thought today pon might give us a little more time together.
Hhaha. so i missed the treat that our Faci is treating us.

after pon lesson, we went to Jurong Point to shop.
but decide to eat first. N we ate at this chinese restaurant at basement.
After eating we walk around, then feel tired so went home le.
So bored, its only 3pm. no one at home, guess wat, i slept through out....
when wake up is around 8pm. total darkness. still no one home.

n guess something, i am not even hungry till now. I slept too much, guess my stomach
still need time to digest my lunch.
2moro will be working full, all i wan is to distract myself from everything.
its like just wan to find someting to concentrate so tat u wont be having e energy to think of other things. Just like "distraction".

today i learned how to use livejournal, and set up my own account.
haha... so i did spent my time wisely today.
dint i? well. maybe a little not... haha
I know i should be sleepin now, but i can tell u tat i am fully awake now.

last day of school

2009-01-16T12:53:00.010+08:00

Last day of school

next week will be the last week of school.
all i feel is not coming to school...
as the days goes by i am feeling really restless.
every day feel like goin home to sleep.
but when reach home i will find it hard to rest...

i keep thinking.
then think again.
n think some more.
some times.....
y are u doin this to me.

all the time wanted good results, but having good
attendance doesn't mean anything.
y do u give me the chance to do well, but still
let me flunk my tests...

y do u give me the chance to be leaders
but in e end give me more troubles.

some times i just think of going home to sleep.
just let mii sleep well without any sickness.
i need a good rest.

separatedx

2009-01-14T00:42:00.003+08:00

Separated

walking in the rain today.
it really did kill the flame in my heart
i will not wan anything anymore...
GONE.

I walk all the way through the rain like no one business.
only at this point of time, even u cry also know one notice.
but i cant feel my tears though, think i have them all out
in the toilet le ba.
i have thought it through.
really think alot
there are more quarrels than i thought.
big n small.
now can still quarrel in public like no one business.
but i am still a girl. i still wan the face.
but i seems to get nothin of tat.
i am drenched but now have a clearer mind le.

girls need to pamper, cos they are emotional.
they are selfish in this area. thought it is reasonable to request to be pamper.
when they cry they need comfort. not shouts.

pamper yourself, buy something

2009-01-07T11:44:00.006+08:00

Pamper yourself, buy something

new year is coming, find something to pamper yourself.

hamperchewyflux.blogspot

I felt xxx

2009-01-05T22:46:00.005+08:00

I felt xxx

i feel moody,
i feel tired,
i feel sleepy,
i feel stressed,
i feel lost

I feel like running away from everyone.
i don wan to celebrate wat birthday.
just don remind me of more responsibility and my future.
I wanted to have only now, this min, this sec.

Not up to standard

2009-01-05T22:30:00.004+08:00

Not up to standard

Thought of showing myself that i can make a difference.
Find e chance, prove myself, joined Council.
But i realize i am still not tat good to get things done by my own.
As days went by, i thought tat maybe i should just mind my own business.
Just be a good student, attend my lesson and Graduate with my own business.

Fed up with school life. I wanted a goal. It is there but i am not working on it.
I thought, i thought maybe i can still be the star but
what have i done.
I am plain lazy.

Today is my first day of school
ZZZZZ

2nd day of 2009

2009-01-02T23:17:00.007+08:00

2nd day of 2009

counting down to 7 days, then i am 20 le.
oh man, its 20. Starting with 2.
well well well....
now cant act cute le. whahahhaha...

thinking back now, i haven really done anything broad
or very memorable thing when i am below 20.
maybe i should try something like bare swimming....
hwahhahahhahaha.
lol. sure no problem, cos no one bother to see.
mmm...

let me see, let me think...
i think my teenage life is rather plain,
gone to pub once, go to club twice.
gone drinking once a while. (limited in drinking)
mmm.
then gone crazy once a while,
like dating online guy who is living in neighbourhood.
nearly gone into different race relationship, jie-di lian,
and anyhow try try out relationship..
I think i really nothin better to do loh, tats y if got chance to do something
out of my original life, i will do it.
I can say that my love relationship is rather 'anyhow' before i met my dear as classmate.
its e first time i think seriously of future.
.......

well, people may think why i wanted to try interesting things before i turn 20.
cos i just don wan to turn old one day recalling tat i haven really done anything exciting.
>>>>>>

i have being a very very good student for a long time, till one day i realize
being guai is not e type who can survive in this world.
once i am being outclassed by classmates for being teachers' good student.
When u are forced to be the role model in teacher's eyes,
u are also becoming the needle in friends eyes.

I am a very very emotional girl, thus i really care alot of other peoples thoughts about me.
my confident and support comes from people around me.
when i am young, i thought friends were everything. i dont think i can live
without friends. tats y those who are friends, i can swear i dint backstab before.
when i am younger(primary), i thought the only way to have less classmates to hate me
and to have more friends is to become a normal grade student.
thus i reject my p4 teacher's recommendation to become Prefect,
can see tat i really wan to be normal... i don wan to be e best,
i just wan to receive more loves from friends.
...........

when i reached secondary school, i turn more n more to become a normal quiet student.
i just do my work, submit my work, i don wan attention from teachers.
but i think i do wan attention from my parents, thus i still try hard to get grades,
but becoming lazier n lazier each year.
i get rather good results to promote to sec 3E2. second best class,
and after tat i successfully become a too normal student, with very normal grades
and normal attention from teachers.
nothin special about my grades and nothing interesting to mention about my progress.
in primary school, i can be the star standing on the stage.
my role changed to an audience in sec 3 n 4 life. I become the one clapping, not the one being applause at.
..................

i swear i am not going to be a good/guai student, thus i turn towards becoming bad.
actually don dare to be over bad anyway... I am still a coward after all.
e worse thing i ever tried is smoking. when i am very young, when i am stil a kid, i tried it with my cousins. one puff and thats it.... cough cough cough.
hahahaha.
when i am teenager i tried once, and same thing happens.... cough cough cough.
hahahahhahaha...
i can never turn too bad, i think.
thus being bad depend not only on fate, it also depend on courage. isnt it?
-------------------------

i rem looking back at my photos when i am still a young kid.
i cant find a trace of smile on my face in the photos which i took.
i am rather a emoing type of child since i am borned.
cos i am a girl, tats my parents were given a chance to give me away or keep.
my grandma managed to persuade to keep me.
~

i was borned not knowing tat i am not being welcomed,
tats y i came to this world hope to collect more love to build up my confidence.
i will be living in this world for 20 years soon.
i have got everything.... one should be contented.
thinking back now, i have done really silly things to prevent letting go the ones which
i wanted to myself.
.............
i started giving up on studies when i am in sec 3.
i actually thought of just get into some where to study canle.
i lost the motivation, i cant find them in my family.
i needed love, rem? i gained confidence through the support of the people who i love.
when they dont believe tat i am goin to get to a uni, i thought maybe tats it. tats
how long i can go in my school life.
....
i rem when i am being top in primary school is because i am moving towards wat my cousin think i can do. he gives me the image of my pretty future where i can see my self graduating in university. but i lost the support since he went back to china. my parents don believe i can go far. n i just think so too.
......

well, i am not a sporty girl, not a attractive girl, not a adventurous type.
i am afraid, terrified of height (cos being pushed down during sec 3 camp(flying fox)
i cant swim, cos nearly drowned...
i cant wear bikini, cos i don wan to laugh at myself first.
i cant go clubbing, cos all i can do is sit there n look at those slim bodies dancing there.
N i cant drink... saddest of all.
i cant ride bicycle, cos i fall down(over the big stone) with my father when i am a kid.
i cant do anything outdoor. OK! i can walk, play badminton, throw ball and hit by the ball.
.........
few days more i am turning 20,
then i am getting married,
then i am going to be mother, grandmother... then i will
say bb.
but before i get married, i wanted to achieve something.
anything tat i can achieve needs some confidence.
....
oh ya till now i haven get the chance to go other countries by myself.
i only went to china(hometown) n singapore.whahahha...
.....
now i am studying in poly year 2, going to year 3 very soon(2months more)
then i am 21, whahahah. sians.
after am over 20, don think u will heard me mentioning about my age le.
k. don ask me hoh.

LOTES OF CONFIDENCE FOR MYSELF

counting down to 2009!!!

2008-12-31T22:16:00.003+08:00

Counting down to 2009!!!

Today is the last day of 2008,
though dear feel tired after 4 full days of work,
he still make the attempt to meet me for dinner.
Really happy to have him with mii today.
But just didnt end the day with him nicely,
i just ended with gloomy face and giving the excuse tat i am just tired.
I also dono y, maybe i feel his tiredness ba.

Am i too childish? Y do i need to have someone to be with me
for every festivals or days tat people are celebrating.
this will be the last year tat i am happy celebrating ba,
next year, nope, its next month i am turning 20.

i don think i will be pulling people to celebrate with mii le.
Dear i just feel lonely inside when i am not able to find someone to celebrate some special days with me. I am not being not understandable.
but i think i understand le, next time don force urself to celebrate with mii,
if u are tired just tell mii. Don bother my emoness.

-------

2009 is approaching, 7 min to 10.30pm
didnt bother to go down to alif with friends
i am home now, alone...
too late, don bother to do anything...
don ask mii go down cos i am plain xxxx
mmm

i rem 2007 new year eve i celebrated
with yam n hua at alif.
we chat chat chat chat till we didnt notice the year 2008 arrived.
hahahhaha.
:)

now 2009 is arriving,
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE WHO IS READING THIS POST

N HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE I LOVE, ALL E BEST TO EVERYTHING WE DO!!

PS: I LOVE DEAR

..............................................

TO THE NEW 2009
I WISH TO HAVE MORE CONFIDENCE
AND KICK ALL MY BAD HABITS

Test is half hour away

2008-11-27T15:46:00.003+08:00

Test is half hour away

UT will be starting soon at 4.15 later.
My mind is into different "segments",
i swear myself to don bother anything that
is non of my business.

maybe if i can do that i will be very happy.
In my own lala land.
sometimes, things cant be changed
everything is about fate :)

horizontal lines

2008-11-27T10:09:00.004+08:00

horizontal lines

nothin to say to support my title for today.
ting. maybe u will understand ba.
I reach out my hand, touch the cold and take back my hand.
once and once upon a time.
i am just a simple simple girl,
who wanted simple simple things.
Life is too complicated to be simple.
Wat u wan is not wat u get.
one day, this girl will look upon the sky and shout
"where e hell is this!"
ting. how i wish we were back to those days.
"rem the times we stuck in kbox?"
where i sing till cried. who cares right.

Horrible month

2008-11-23T00:38:00.003+08:00

Horrible month

Honestly speaking, i am not goin to have good GPA results
for this semester. I forsee it, nop! i can see it.
I really cant do well in those which i lacks interest in.
all the moldules which involves codings, i flunk in them...
I studied, but... flunk. Even suai suai have fever on one of e day
when i have UT test for one of the coding modules.
.....

Days n days i have been looking forward to this day when
i can choose to study something that is within my
interest, finally module selection time is here and
i am making the choice again.

When the chance is within my grab, i still
feel reluctant of which to take.
So in e end....

i chose
Health care applications &Manufacturing and logistics systems
for my core modules.
AND
marketing
& sales management for my electives.
I just don wan to challenge myself anymore
by choosing something which is useful in society but
i don't like it. Just like accounting.
Really hope i got a future- A bright one in my career

............................................

Financial status

Haven being working for 3 weeks le, coming to 4 weeks le.
Haiz... haiz...
haven got the time to go down to shop to take my last month pay.
which is too little to count.
Hai... i am lookin for new jobs..
anyone recommend one for mii?
I need money money...

Today went to dear's house after my botanic garden trip.
its a wonderful trip with the youths at WCC.
there is this art exhibition goin on there, art pieces are
done by the inmates in the prisons.
they are wonderful, i can actually touch them through the paints.
After the trip, went back to WCC for briefing, by the time i take bus
to dear's house, its rainin heavily.
At night eat at dear's house, save the meal for the day...
Dear wanted to say tat ba?
haha... Haiz...
actually should go n meet shan, ting and cherly they all de.
Celebrating cherly's birthday in advance.
a simple dinner shouldn't cost much right? i am thinkin of tat.
But dear's mum just went down to buy dinner, too late to do anything.
Bu hao yi shi to go before she went up. so i reject ting's request...
haiz.
without money, alot of problems...

Friday mood

2008-11-14T23:49:00.001+08:00

Friday mood

Today is another friday,
not much plan.
went home alone, cook lunch to eat.
use laptop.
I felt more than not feeling well.

happy 6 months anniversary

2008-11-13T22:28:00.007+08:00

Happy 6months anniversary

Time flies, real fast.
Its actually our 6th months anniversary.
Celebrated this special day with dear's
best buddy-junjie & his gf huimin.

me and dear celebrating half year anniversary,
and junjie & huimin celebrating their 1 year anniversary.
The date is actually the same, so qiao loh.
both anniversary is on the 11th.
Its actually dear n junjie de childhood promise, to
celebrate their anniversary together.

Dear saved a lot of money for this special day,
we have our dinner at this Australian restaurant.
After having our expensive meals, we walk around clarke quay
and end up in the "Elephant" pub.
Listen to the band performs and drink tiger?
ooops.haha...

really enjoy this day with dear, though i really wear my heels till
very pain. I really love the eyor that dear bought for me.
He actually rem this eyor that i come across at AMK hub.
N my first rose from my dear.
Its in purple color de, my fav color somemore.
So happy...

more n more anniversaries for us.

raining

2008-11-13T21:51:00.008+08:00

Raining

These few days it had keep on raining.
So many people get sick le.

Yesterday rains very heavily,
n I am drenched.

The story starts like this.
Yesterday i went to school for PP presentation,
n the only things that i bought is the posters and
my ez-link card n posb card.

After i finish my presentation,
it had already started to drizzle outside school.
And it is becoming bigger as i walk towards causeway.

I took bus 900 to dear de house
and was reminded alot of times to alight when i saw 888 plaza.
But the more i am reminded, the more forgetful i seems to get.

I seems to have this habit of staring into the rain when outside is raining,
so subconsiously i am doing what i should not be doing.
Which is stare at the rain from inside the bus,
and missed the stops.
When i finally get back to my concious,
i have no idea where i am.

So i called dear n ask where i am,
n it is ofcos a very idiot question, how would he know.
but he guess i should have missed a few stops le.

Dear didnt realise where I am, he
actually ask me to walk back in the opp direction.
As i also thought maybe i only missed one stop,
so walkin back should be no problem.
But the more i walk back, the more i realise there is no
shelter back to the previous stop.
So i stand there blankly n think what to do.

So i run all the way back to the stop which i alighted and run across
to the other side to take the bus back.
luckily this time i am able to spot 888plaza,so alight in time.
I realise i actually missed 2 stops.
After i alight, i actually run towards the opp direction of the road,
which later realise i am wrong, so i ran back.
So all the while i am running in the rain...
When dear's mum open the door for me,
she is kind of shocked.

Dear later help me dry my hair, and i changed to my dry clothes
(which i left at his house the previous day)
Though dear called me when i am at below his block
and told me that he should have go n fetch me,
but i dont know why i just feel more sad.
I think this is why when i saw him,
i am emotionless...
I think i am feeling sad at that time ba.
I always feel sad when i felt helpless in the rain.

Well, but feel much better after dear cook for us.
After have our meals,
i fall asleep in dear's bed.
Actually i should have realise the reason is becos
i am starting to get sick le.

......

Late in the night, i started to cough very badly.
till my chest also pain le.
morning when wake up, throat felt very dry
and thinking why the weather so cold.

through out the day in school, my sore throat become
more serious. N i am feeling dizzy and 100% freezing.
Jiali(group mate) is complaining that she feels warm,
and i am like grabbing on to my jacket.

I am suppose to meet allynn,apple and elieen for dinner today de,
but i really dont feel right.
its not only the sore throat, my body is not feeling right.
So after a short meeting with council advisor,
i left for home. When walkin out of school,
i feel like floating, then heard someone from behind called me.
Its stanley from my last last last sem de, i actually stand there for
10 seconds before saying 'ehhhhh' helo...
haha...

the first thing he ask is why i look so emo,
haha...then i told him i am sick,not emo...
so he walk with me to the control station,
still wan to get pay for the protection fees!
lol... But thanks for his concern also.

..........

After i reach home, i really cant think straight le.
i am dizzy and very cold.
when take my temperature with thermometer,
shocked to see 38.1 degree Celsius.

.....

know i am very sure why i felt that i am goin to flunk my UT that i took before i left the school.
Today's UT is web application, and today's problem is
also web application.
just imaging i am having fever when i am taking the test...
hw well can i do?
......

2moro is friday le.
time flies...
haiz...
monday still have UT.
n i still have one activity to carry out in school.
haiz....
think 2moro i meet ting for dinner ba.
relax a bit ba...haha

Camp for U & I

2008-11-07T09:33:00.009+08:00

Camp for U & I

my day

2008-11-07T09:05:00.003+08:00

My day...

My sleepy morning started with the horror of reviewing my grade for UT 1 Operating system.
I actually got a D+, 11 out of 28 some more.
Such a disgrace.
Wat for study. Dint even appear on my grade.
Did i ever say i am tired of studying le?
No motivation no motivation.
Especially struggle till the end just get GPA of 3.4 something.
Not one time touch 3.5
Its just 0.5 difference....

Well. My day started with an alarm of how bad my situation is.
I actually TANA
= talk and no action.

home sweet home

2008-11-02T13:34:00.005+08:00

Home sweet home

After 4 days of camp in school,
I am really exhausted.
One part of me really missed dear.
Another part of me really wan to go home and sleep.

Being the team leader during the camp really means
a lot of extra work.
I have 8 team members in my team.
Just nice, 4 girls, 4 guys.
We really do have a lot of fun.
And it really means a lot when my team members
sent me MSG after camp, to thank me for their
3 days in camp.

During camp, some of the major activities we have
includes Amazing race(around singapore), Tele match(around RP our school), Food Quest(around jurong point) and Mass dance.

Back on Friday night, reach home around 9.30
and celebrates father's birthday.
I think i am really too tired & falling sick till now,
that i destroy everyone's mood in celebrating.
Haiz....

I slept from 11 on friday night till 3.30 pm on sat afternoon.
Dear laugh at mii for sleeping so long.
After tat i go meet Dear.
when i see him, the first thing i wan to do is to laugh.
WHEHAAHAHAHHA
Dear actually cut his hair till so short, that makes his face look so round.
whahhahahahah.....
Actually i quite envy dear de.
He always give me a confident feeling in everything he do.
Which is something that i really lacks of.
Dear finished his PP presentation and he is quite confident with his performance.
I really feel happy for him, but somehow feel sick when i think of my own performance.

Oh well.
Now i am sick le.
cough cough, sneeze sneeze, yawns...ZZZ

Its kind of long...

2008-10-13T09:24:00.002+08:00

Its kind of long...

Oh well too long didnt blog le.

No new photos to upload. cos my laptop went for servicing due to mother board problem.

But i have so many photos want to upload. mmm.

well. That have to wait till this Wed when Acer servicing call me.

Haiz... Here it comes, my money all gone.

cos i am not planning to buy new one, so i go with the idea of just repairing my motherboard,

and thinking of buying warranty for the remaining 1 and half years till 3rd year of school.

= near to 800 dollars to spent.

Anyway like dear say money earnt, money spent.

Haiz. But still kind of sad. nop! is very sad. ...

Any way.

Rem the happy things can le.

Happy 5months anniversary to DEAR

Love you forever and ever.

My friday

2008-09-19T17:22:00.003+08:00

My Friday

Guess wat am i doin now?
I am currently inside CCK library typing my blog and listening to music.
With a bag of Oreo biscuit in my bag, and at an easy reach to put into my mouth.
Waiting for wanting to finish work, she tell me she will reach at around 7 like tat.
I reach around 5 pm at CCK here and don feel like going home.
Dear go drink with classmates. All guys, so i am not goin also.

I miss ting, though i have not told her tat.
That day i left early after meet her, i know i am in wrong.
Initiating to eat dinner together but end up leaving her with Chaileng and Sandra.
But i really miss her. Tats y just now ask her for dinner today again.

Today menstruation 2nd day, dont really feel energetic and in a state.
Just now thought of going home straight after school. But helo people,
today is friday. U are suppose to find someone to enjoy it with.
So i dont mind to wait at library for Ting. So long time didnt see her le.

Its not only mii...

2008-09-17T23:56:00.003+08:00

Its not only mii...

Its not only mii that is involved in this relationship.
I complain tat i am sacrificing a lot in this relationship, and yearn for being single again.
But like wat dear said, i am being really selfish.
I am only pitying for myself, but i did not feel sorry for dear.
When i think that i am losing a lot of time to be with my friends,
dear also did not have any time with his friends.
Its true, both of us have to sacrifice something in the relationship, and i only thought i am the one sacrificing.

Dear always meet his best friend for dinner but after starting this relationship, he had not have the time to meet up for even a meal. Every single day, dear will sent me home, whether it is after school or after work. only on those days when he is sick or really very tired, i will go home by myself.

I am being really selfish, maybe i am too used to dear sending me home safely that i actually forgot that he is sacrificing his own rest time. I am taking things for granted. Really. When i tell dear that i think we are seeing each other too often le, and should see each other less often. I forget the times when i am at work and sms dear that i am very bored at work, and dear will come down to accompany me even when is out with his friends. And how can i forget the time when i am down with rashes on my face and neck, u actually left your best friend's birthday celebration early, just to come down to my work place to help me apply the medicine, as i complain that the rashes makes me scratch my neck and face.

I feel so not matured when i hug so tightly to u, crying and say i feel so tired with this relationship and you say that you are also, and you are actually consoling me and tell me that all this takes time, it takes time to adapt to each other's life and everything.

I am selfish, all i think is only me, only that i am e one suffering and losing my freedom. I complain tat we are seeing each other too much, especially when we will see each other every day at school, sunday you will come find me at work after you work finish. But i did not feel for you. I did not think that you wanted to spent days out with me, not only see each other at school. we only have two days off for each other every week, like wat you said, we had being together for 4 months le, but how many days did we have for each other to go out dating. Sorry dear.

Last day of emptiness

2008-08-28T14:10:00.006+08:00

Last day of emptiness

Dear coming back today, later go fetch him in e evening.
Last night when he called, i am kind of sad to hear his voice.
I feel bad, he sound so sick and yet i make him worry and not happy.

Just thought that maybe will join the Alif group of friends after work at the coffeeshop.
But didnt tell Dear about it, but at least i tell him e truth when he call.
I know its not very nice for me to hang out with a group of guys so late,
but seriously i view them as friends rather than guys... lol...
Maybe i should really change my mindset now le...
I cant treat guys just like how i treat my girlfriends, there is still a barrier there...
Though everyone talk about trust of opposite partners, but there should still have basic
respect for each other. If not wife will hang out at guy friends house though she is married, and girls who are attached will stay out with guy friends out late at night.
Trust is one thing, but respect is another thing that love should covered.
Miss dear a lot...

-------------------------------

Now workin on my proposed idea for teacher's day celebration in school
Thought of the voting system and wishes with hand prints on a big piece of white cloth for
all students to participate.
Still workin on it...
But school only opens after Teacher's day which falls on first of sept.
I hope my work wont be wasted the worth.

(18th birth)

Misses

2008-08-26T23:20:00.004+08:00

Misses-2nd day without u

Dear just called me, on phone with him.
If its not Vincent de phone which he use, i wouldnt have hang up.
I really miss his voice. Its e first time i hear his voice today.
I miss him, told him tat i would go fetch him on thurs when he come back.
I wan to hug him e first thing he come back.
Dear sick le... really worry about him.
I know its me tat spread the flu to him de,
before he go Malaysia, he is already sick le.
Hope he take care of himself...

Luckily he is not far away from me. we stil at the same block in our new class.
just now sms with dear, then i tell him tat he same class with one of our girl in our class and other people who he
may knew before de...
thought he will joke with mii or wat. cos i everytime say he n this girl more compatible.
but i am touched with his reply.
cos he reply mii this
"Is my class far from you"

I miss dear...
My second day without you...

Different class le

2008-08-26T22:08:00.008+08:00

Different class le

I cant describe how i feel now, just seen the new class now.
Leo had already come out with the new class names le.
I am in different class with Dear le.
I am sad.

Same class as Jeremiah and Wanglu (from my previous class de)
And still have XueWei(my secondary and primary friend)
how will my new class be...
haiz...

Thats how we met :)

2008-08-26T18:46:00.005+08:00

Tats how we met :)

The class we met- E66N

From strangers to classmates.
Then we(this group of friends) always hang out after school and have break together.
And the story went on until one day i dint even realize i had like you.
I think i only realize this when you went off with ur previous female classmate
during break time when u are suppose to be going with us to have our lunch.
And first time i feel the jealousy in myself.
And i dint realize you also start to like me at tat period of time, and both of us also dono how come we like each other over time.
I still thinking what draw us together neh...

A day without you!!!

2008-08-25T23:39:00.005+08:00

A day without you!!!

Today is Monday, thought that everyone Monday blue so the sales wont be so good.
But not so bad, still manage to get more than 300 bucks sales.
Jeremiah came and look for me in the afternoon, he says he too bored at home.
Hiaz... really dono how my day went by de.
I really hope to have many customers today, so as to divert my attention from thinkin of Dear.
Good that Jeremiah came down, at least time pass faster.

Now i am home and i am really very tired...
Dear not able to use his own phone in Malaysia there, so can only through Vincent de phone to contact Dear. Just now reach home, sent msg to Dear to tell him i reach home le.
Thats what Dear ask me to do, to report to him everyday when i reach home.
But i think 2moro i wont be doin tat ba. cos its still Vincent de phone. I dont think its very nice to
use his phone also. Need to pay extra overseas de ma. Thought Dear will buy a card there to contact me, so will be more convinient, can call him also. but he didnt... haiz... What is he doin there now ah? Sleep le ma?
Haiz... Just feel that there is something missing, dear have not sent mii home for 2 days le.

2moro is another day... goiing to school for the council meeting... but wat am i goin to do after e meeting... I need sleep... think i will go home ba...

our Sat treat

2008-08-25T01:35:00.006+08:00

Our Sat Treat/ My Treat

This sat dear bring me out to Raffles City, suppose to be our last day together
before Dear go Malaysia.
Dear treated me to New York New York restaurant,
he dont really think its up to 3 stars standard...cos of their way of service.
Ok, tats not e point... hahaha..
Dear ordered pork ribs... i ate it with dear ... nice nice
& i ordered teriyaki chicken steak.

Mmmm.. i ordered white chocolate Mocha (3 layers) and Dear have root beer...
But i wan to have a taste on Dear do de 7 layers Mocha... Do i get e chance?
after our meal, we ordered a set of ice cream with waffle. mmmm... Yummy.
E way dear cut the waffle with the ice cream makes me sing out happy birthday song to him unintentionally. hahaha... opps...

Dear spent near 60 bucks on our New York New York meal, luckily didnt listen to him to order another set of of crab meal with sea food.... lol... I think we will end up washin plates for the restrauant to pay for our bills. Thanks dear for the meal... so filling...We didnt even think of food when its dinner time. haha..

After that we went to play pool, so long didnt play le... paid for one hour, but only play a while.
Dear say very boring, can do other things de.
So we left loh...

To catch a movie at AMK hub... only 6 audience in the theater (inclusive of us)...
We watch this comedy show "Meet Dave"
Mii wanted to watch one of the Singapore movie.
" 12 lotus or e money not enough".
But dear say he dont support Singapore done movie, cos not worth the watch...
though kind of sad not to watch 12 lotus...
After watchin Meet Dave, i find it rather worth it... its an intersting show...

After the movie, its raining outside le... Rather late le... after walkin around the area, we lack of ideas what to do next, so thought of takin train home...
On train, Dear receive Jeremiah call for a drink...
in e end we end up meeting him at one of yishun coffeeshop, the guys drink but i am not allowed to touch... we chat and drink and watch the Olympic live show on the coffeeshop's TV.
Had quite a late night chatting with Jeremiah...
zzz.... tired but thinking its e last day with Dear, i rather we stay a little longer... but we still
have to take the last train into consideration de.
So left Jeremiah to take train at 11.15pm...
so thought of goin home le

Different turnout of my holiday

2008-08-25T01:16:00.010+08:00

Different turnout of my holiday

Planned to fully use up my 2 and half week of school holiday for work.
Aimed to earn near to 1000 bucks for this month.
But now my target is gettin further and further away.

there are times where i want to spent time with Dear rather than go work.
It is just depressing to think that i will be in e different class with dear when our holiday ends.
It will means we are gettin lesser time together le.
Dear may have thought i really value money a lot, i realize this when he asks mii this once.
" you really need money ah"
Dear, its not about work which i think al the time, same as you, i also really wanted to have more time with u.
It wouldn't be lesser than the times you think.

This week actually only off tues and thurs... the rest of the days all work.
Tues off cos i am having Council meeting in school from 12 to 2pm.
Thurs off cos Dear is comin back From Malaysia. Promise him to take off de.
In e end, i realise i have another Training session under my IG e Project(Woodland care corner), suppose to have counciling training session that day on Friday. So quickly told boss about it.
Then i realise i am suppose to meet Qiao Min, WenChong and Serene for dinner on Sat.
Celebrating her moving house and a nice meet up. Its a long time we meet out le. times passes...

So in e end, boss say cant help me cos she needs people to work for full day, cant for half day only.
So addition to my 2 off days, i got another 2 extra off days.
So i off on tue, thurs, fri and sat.
WOW!!!

So to conclude, i only work 3 days this coming week.

Another week ahead

2008-08-25T00:38:00.008+08:00

Another week ahead

Tomoro is another Monday, second week of my school holiday.
I start it with workin...
2moro will be working, but different from today, i will be workin at bishan 2moro.

mmm..
Actually a bit of change of workplace from Raffles city to BiShan seems to be fine with me.
Workin at e same place seems to be depressing, same as my lifestyle in RP.
haiz...
holiday comes, school starts, new class with totally new bunch of classmates, tests comes, projects comes, meetings coming, proposals, camps, CCA project, holiday comes, school starts, new class with totally new bunch of classmates, major projects comes and life goes on.

Went back to secondary school on friday with Shan, Ting, Cherly, Leng, Sandra.
Did i ever mention to them everytime they talk about the process of their poly life to our ex teachers, i am numb, prayin tat my ex teachers wont ask me.
at that point of time, i hope everyone just carry on e conversation, carry on with their plannin of their poly. with their attachments and projects.
Attachments? I am not having tat... I dont even dare to mention that.
I should be havin tat.
every moment i think of that, i would realise my life had turned upside down.
How to tell my friends, i am not havin a relaxin time though i seems to be e lucky one with out worries about attachements and projects and exams.
Everytime they discuss about how tense are they recently due to their exams,
comparing about their course, their attachments, their results.
I am shut off... shut off. shut off to the max.

I wanted that, all i wanted is to have all those you all have.
I wanted to be studyin for the exams, stressin over attachments, stressin over the marks i have.
But all this is gone, i cant have it. I have no one to share with me about the progress. cos i cant find anything compatible between us this group of girls. I can see, can feel the way you all feel when you all discuss about school work and school life. sometimes i can see that you all wan to join me in your discussions, but just dono how to do that and whether it is a good thing not.
how to join mi in? " how is your studies in RP? how is your results? what you all doin now in school ah?" Noop... its not your faults, its mine. its my self wantin to shut off from you guys every time when come to discussion with "hows your school, hows your life". cos e questions which i listed above is what i am askin myself everyday.

last sat i finally say everything out with Dear. I thought he will just say things to stop me from thinkin all this unneccesary thoughts, but he didnt. Dear listened to all, helping me to find a better way of understanding my situation. "why should i be worrying about my future, what i wanted to do when i have not really hve the target which i want to meet" Dear told me to give myself time, i should give myself time to find my target, before dashing anyhow without direction forwards and complaining i have achieve nothing.
how is it possible to achieve anything when there is no target set infront of me. Thanks dear to be with me, sorry when i say my life is upside down now.

Pure love

2008-08-25T00:06:00.006+08:00

Pure love

Too much thought for today.
Dear off to Ben house with Vincent in e evening today,
came with Vincent to my workplace today.
It is e last chance.
Last touch, Last kiss, Last look in his eyes, Last hug.
I am goin to miss him for almost 4 days.
Dear will be leaving for Malaysia with the guys.
I thought, really thought i dont mind a little space between us.
I thought i wont mind him not by my side for 4 days.

I am wrong, totally wrong.
I cant stop huggin him before he left,
after he left, my eyes gets so warmed that i realize i am crying.
I cant believe how much our love becomes.

On phone with dear after work, I feel happy to hear his voice.
When i told him i thought i had become dependent on him le.
dependent on him accompany work, sent mii home, hug mii before i went home.
Dear actually ask me back, dont i think it is a good thing that we both had become
dependent on each other.
I have a very deep thought on that.

When reach home, mom start to 'lecture' me about boyfriend topic.
About compatible, about future, about trustworthy.
Dear called me when i sms him about this.
When chatting, i realize and feel how much he treasure our relationship.
He is not only looking into our love, but also the acceptance of my parents.
He is worried, and i felt really sorry about it.
I really wanted him to know that it is not that he is not good, its just the acceptance of
my parents is different.

Dear, our love will prove it.
I will remember everything you say tonight, every messages and every bits of your thoughts.
Same as you, i cant imagine me loving another guy more like you in my life.
Thanks for the promises you made, I will keep it... keep it safe in my heart.
whether we are meant for each other, time will prove it.
I love you love me.
Believe me, i really really feel your love.

Hope you enjoy your trip ahead.
Now i understand your feeling when u get angry when i told you i am goin for another camp le.
We had a far way to go from here.
Misses.

Happy 3 months anniversary

2008-08-11T00:18:00.006+08:00

Happy 3 months anniversary

Just receive dear e msg wishing me happy 3 months.
I smiled... Smiled at e times which we enjoyed together.

Same as usual, dear come look for me after work. I am
So tired today and seriously no mood to work and pretend to enjoy
promoting to the customers.

Haiz, i am comparing with dear about our pay and working hours on phone today.
And obviously i lose in both.
I work more hours with lesser pay each hour.
Dear stil laugh at me, mii already feel very sianz le.
Whahahaha... Haiz. I also want a better job ah.

Luckily today's sales is more than 200, if not i sure cant close the shop.
lol. just joking, will still close as usual. (Especially i have a timer with me (Dear)).
When comes to closing, he is always so looking forward to it.
Reminding and counting down for me. LOL.

*just want to write down a bit of what i feel today
(dear, i am nt emoing, just wan to type out)

I also dono why i dislike people who shouts or scold me. Since young,
i would always cry when people do that to me. Maybe become a habit le ba.

Everyone have their bad points, and it includes me. It had become a habit from young to
keep my feelings or unhappiness to myself.
In e end i will be showing black faces to everyone,
and they will start to become restles with this, not knowing what wents wrong.
I am learning to change this, especially when this had causes problem between dear and me.

N

HAPPY 3 MONTHS TO BOTH OF US.
11/08/08

TO DEAR: I LOVE YOU!!!

I love you

2008-08-10T00:21:00.002+08:00

I love you

There is no sentences or story to describe my feelings for you.
I have only 3 words.
Tat is I LOVE YOU.

Quarrels seems so common for us,
and we learned from them.
Each time we resolved our misunderstanding,
I love you more.
Its you who is always willing to give me the chance
to resolve our quarrels.
There are so many times when i just want to go off
with out solving our quarrels or misunderstanding.
Its you who give us e chance to understand each other more.

2moro will be 11th of August, we had being together for 3 months le.
Remember i once told you that i dont really
think we can last for even 3 weeks to 1 month?
Well, now i know its because i dont trust myself.
I trust you more in this relationship then myself,
its you who makes me increase my trust in this relationship.

Failures before tend to build up a barrier in me,
but I have found you now.
Your love makes me gain back the trust which i am lookin for all the while.
Your love makes me love you more.
I have learned something in our love.
I rem myself doubting on whether we are compatible before.
But now i know it is not about whether both of us are compatible,
its whether we see our self meant for each other.
No matter what different things we may be doing,
but we are both thinking of each other.
Its all about understanding.
And i am still learning.

I feel very sorry to rem wrongly of the date that we get together again.
N i know i had said it wrong for more than once,
no wonder you get angry.
How can i forget that!
I am sorry.

Thanks dear for bringing me to marina bay tonight for e firework.
Its really really a very very special night with you.
finding the best spot, i almost get the full view of the firework.
I have you by my side.
I will rem the sentence that you said to me.
I WILL KEEP IT FOREVER!
*you will be .... ....

Not only is the firework memorable, but pushing ourselves
out to take the train is e best part.
I am touched.
How tight are our hands together?
(opps, i think its me grabbing on to you! lol. cnt remember. haha)
When you lead me out, squeezing through the crowds, i smiled.
Maybe that's e feeling of being protected ba.

2moro both of us are having work. And i am suppose to sleep le,
but just cant get to sleep. So here i am typing down bits and bits of my feelings.

I need my morning call!!

2008-07-08T15:44:00.003+08:00

I need my morning call!!

Today didnt go to school, really sick le...

I have e feelin tat after i ate e medicine last night, the chances of getting up this mornin is very low, so ask dear to give mii a mornin call...
In e end he call me late by 20 min. And i really cannot get up, when i realise tat i am already late.
I dont wanna go to school le. I am tired.

I have a dream, I dreamed that i went to school as usual even though i am late.
And everything went on as normal. The dream is so peaceful, i thought its real cos i do everything that i would want to do today in my dream. And when i wake up, i realise i im stil on bed and i had not being in school at all.... For one moment i thought my spirit had wander off when i am sleeping. I remember i feel that my father came to my room and touch my forehead and say i am not having a fever. But i cant rem it... i will ask him when he come back home.

Slept till 1 pm.... Tats when dear called miii... Think he is having break ba, And i am still sleepin tat time, so don really have the energy to answer him. haha...

So here i am, wake up with no food for mii to eat and no one at home. Struggle to cook a bowll of noodle. (nt maggie) and online surf net. I am tired. Just have one thing on mind, i have alot of things to be done but i have no energy to do them.... I am purely distrained.

Sick le...

2008-07-07T00:07:00.004+08:00

Sick le...

Ok, now i officially post out here that i am sick.
I AM SICK.
haiz....
Dear also sick le...

Lol... after work, dear went out with his friends.
But good enough for him to come down after tat to accompany mii
till i do closing. Being with him, i seems to lost track of time.
Don't even mind to close shop late.
hahah...
But i know he mind....Tats y always rush mii....

LOl. Then we take train home together.
Listening to his Hp songs together with him.
It seems tat small things can be so happy to do together.

2 moro is another day.
got UT after school, which i haven even study now.
(promise dear to sleep at 12.30am de)
I tell him i want to study for UT, but i am here blogging.
Wahaha....

mmm... Sad, after UT still need to rush to RC to work till 10pm.
haiz.... I am sick, but no choice.... work= money.

Seems to lost track!!

2008-07-06T00:34:00.004+08:00

Seems to lost track!!

I have lost track in a lot of things.
All blames to my time management.
There are a lot of things that need to be done,
But i don seem to be working on it.

*PP project needed to do ASAP
*Need to do well for UT
*Need to lose weight
*Need to be punctual for everything....
(seriously -0.5% for being late for class is not worth it)
*Be ready for all meetings: being a member of Student council
* Be ready for the contribution of time for meetings: being a secretary for SLC(CCA)

Haiz....
I cant multi- task....
tats y when things get more and more, I will choose to do nothing.
I can only concentrate on one thing,
which is one of e reason y i become so lazy to ask my friends out.
* I am blamed by my friends for not asking them out
* I am blamed by my dear for attending all the meetings and activities

mmmm......
I am tired to argue.

I think i am good in bottling up my feelings.
Cos i seem to be posting new posts at one go rather than constantly.

ok, got to go sleep now le.
I have work 2moro....
See wat i mean by poor time management?
LOL....

Just feel like typing down.

2008-07-06T00:17:00.005+08:00

Just feel like typing down!

Thought of typing down a lot of stuff since yesterday night,
hoping to find a ideal blogskin ASAP tat time,
so i can display my feeling out ASAP too.

Well, now i got the chance to post here le.
But i dono wat i want to say le.
mmm....

Anyway, back to my life.
2day is a Sat, originally i am not working today.
But yesterday Boss sent msg to mi,
saying tat e staff for sat shift is sick.
So i went to work, work till 2 pm.
(don't dare to work full day, cos promise dear tat i am
spending e day with him)

Around 2, dear came by to Bishan to "fetch" mii...
Lol. Cos he coming down from Ben's house at bedok.
So after i finish work, we go eat pasta mania. (Cant finish)

After tat, went back to dear de house to watch video.
LoL.
His grandparents were at his house (visit) tat time with his parents.
Hhahha...
So awkward, when his mum introduced mii to them as classmate.
Well, luckily they didnt say anything. haha...

Anyway, i got e chance to have curry dinner at dear de house.
cook by his mum, I love the taste. haha...
mmm... Spent my day with him without going out seems enough for both of us.

2moro both of us going work, haiz...
A poor pair of couple.
hahahahha...

But A happy couple too.
Hope dear tomoro not to tired after work,
haha... so tat he can come down again to accompany mii work.
If not, i am sure gona sleep during work de.
The crowd there is really very say. haiz....

Random

2008-07-05T23:57:00.005+08:00

Random

Just don seem to find the blogskin that catch my eye, So taken this one which is plain enough for mii to write my feelings down.
Last night work till 2 smt in the morning,
N only working on "searching of blogskin" and edit on it.
Sometimes, blogskin does represent the current state of mind of yours.

Well, tat applies to me.
I am in love, but I am not behaving like last time to my friends.
They also find it weird, when we went out recently.
Well, I rem i did bug around them all the time,
just to say about an eye candy.
LOL...
Maybe they cannot get use to me that i am not gossiping a lot about
my dear and mii.

* Friends
Maybe i am afraid ba,
somewhere inside myself told mii that
I shouldnt be too overjoyed.
I am afraid of failing again.
Maybe i have become more conservative to myself.
I know i am in love,
and i treasure it a lot.
The only difference is that I had not being showing to
people around mii or my friends that i am really very very happy.

Maybe i have done too much last time,
the part when i keep saying and saying about a specific guy. LOL...
In e end, it is meaningless.
Cos watever i said before is rubbish.

Suddenly i realise that true love is not on the mouth.
Times prove it.
Friends: some times i find it irritating of myself when i keep
talkin about my love relationship.
Which is why i become more reluctant to share more and show more.
Willing to share is one thing, but whether e other party
is willing to listen is also another thing.

I find my self turning low in mood whenever i realise that
the person who is listening is not intersted in whatever i am saying.

*actually i am just listing down my messy feelin here.
So tat means totally no link...

More than words

2008-06-27T15:20:00.004+08:00

More than words

I had become more and more sensitive when
u are with other girls le.
Its the thought of only wanting u to myself,
am i selfish?
Tat is wat i am unsure about.
There is one thing that i am sure of,
our love had grows days by days and I cared for u more.

Once before, u told me tat u feel that I would be e one who leave u first,
but now I think i am afraid of u leaving mii le.
Days had passed so fast, its soon to be 2 months le.
I wanted u to be with mii, every single day will be like a vanlentine's day to me.

I treasure u just like u treasure me.

Hold u tight.

Celebrating our 1 month anniversary

2008-06-06T03:50:00.006+08:00

Celebrating our 1 month anniversary

Me and dear both working on this coming sunday.

which is the actual day of markin our 1 month of together.

We end up celebrating earlier today, and went to vivo city.
We went to this Pet Lovers Centre where we can see dogs,
fishes, hamsters and a lot of interesting things for animals.
A good place for animal lovers.
haha...

After tat, we
went to vivo city to have a nice dinner
at the Marché Restaurant
(A swiss concept restaurant- i love the atmosphere)

After filling up our stomach, we set to City hall.
We went to have drink and chill out at one of the cafe-TCC
Then went to buy movie tickets
for tis movie name- Sex and the City.
MY FIRST M18 MOVIE SHOW !!!!
hahah...

So before movie starts, we went
to Singapore River (where the merlion can be seen)

N this is the part where i nearly cried out.

After finding a place to sit down, dear passed me a black pouch.
When i opened it, there is this small rectangular gold box with
the picture of old Singapore River on top.
*touched
When i open it, there is a small photo(me and MJ) inside.
Which is taken awhile ago, and printed out when I am waitin
outside e toilet for MJ to come out.
* I am so stupid to wait outside for so long,
n still believe him when he came out from another side
n tell me tat he cant find me when he came out of e toilet.
Haiz... LOL

I Love it so much, every single thing.
With the receipt of the first dinner we have together at
City hall.

Wat do i do?
Keep smiling at Mj and cant say much thing out.
* i prepared nothing. LOl. opps....
haha.

After tat, we went back to city hall to watch Sex and the City.
Which ends at around 1pm.
too late le....No bus
so take taxi
till my house- over 40 bucks.
tats lots man.....
LOL...

but e movie very nice. worth to watch.haha
My first M18 show.

thinking

2008-06-05T03:18:00.008+08:00

Thinking

I finish my SLC camp today,
reach home at 4 plus.
TIRED
N i missed my boyfriend.
: )

wat to do when u are tired?
clever thing to do is sleep.
whaha...
so i fall asleep.

when sleeping half way, receive my bf & dear wanting
de sms, which ask me for dinner later at night.

mmm...

hard decision.
I told wanting i can go meet her first then meet MJ later
cos he having work, so wont meet me tat early.
But ting say nvm....
mmm. kind of disappointed. cos i miss her also.

so after waking up at around 7, mii n my brother went down to have dinner.
Too hungry le. so share the food with my brother.
of cos(i pay for it)- so tats e reason why i can share with him.
whahhaa....

After eat finish, MJ came just in time and we went to
have his dinner at ALIF to have prata.

Mmmm....
* he pick up S*****g again
( when i went for the camp & he started to get busy with 2 part time jobs)
Haiz... Though i did say before tat i dont mind, n u didnt promise mii
before tat u will quit.
But please don become addicted to it k.
Please dont.
:) I love the smell of u without the cigarette smell.
* well, just saying. anyway, i am in no position to stop u.

When we at ALIF eating, we saw kristy, guihua, wenjun, alex, yini, polar bear.
Kind of sad when i saw them coming down 1 by 1.
Cos i am not being asked this time to join them.

Since I am with MJ, i had not went down to meet them.
Its being more than 3 weeks le.
Think they all tired to askin mii down le.
haha...

2moro goin to spent the day out with MJ.
Both of us off 2moro.
Not sure go where, but anywhere with him will do.
(MJ- don think wrong hoh)

hahah....

mIsses misses misses

Currently enjoying my holiday!!

2008-06-05T03:12:00.005+08:00

Currently enjoying my holiday!!

Currently [ENJOYING] my 2 weeks holiday.
* SLC camp from 2 to 4 jun
* Student council camp from 11 to 12 jun
* coming up (13 jun- SLC workshop)

The rest of the days
(not many)
* with my MJ dear
* Work full day
* stay at home do housework

Well... It seems tat my holiday haven finish, but i
have already summarizing up all my activities le.

LOL...

Its not a relaxing holiday for mii though.

Misses

I am really a stupid GF!!

2008-05-22T01:47:00.007+08:00

I am really a stupid GF!!

Really sorry to u,
I doubt on u for the third time.
N it seriously wreck my heart to see u sad.
I hate myself for doing that to u
and I really really cares for u.

I doubt because i care.
Silly mii actually sent u tat message
which makes u thought i want a breakup.
I am sorry.
I dint mean it.
N i regret it...
How much i mean to u shouldnt be doubt on!

Luckily every thing turns out in a good way after we met just now.
Love u as always
and more.
*love the edited photo by u...haha

Imagine My class situation now?

2008-05-20T15:14:00.006+08:00

Imagine My class situation now?

KAH WAI is sleeping in class when faci is having his 6P.

If Huishan(my team mate) didnt point out
that 3 of us are all doing blogging at the same time.
I will not realize that.
Hhaha...Lesson is so boring.
Me, Huishan and Shidah are sitting in one row.

AND we are blogging.
Our group r e busiest sia...
Typing non stop.
hahahaha...

Anyway huimin team is presenting now....
WHahhahaa...
Sians.....

Later still have meeting for my IG- SLC.
After tat may have another meeting for WCC project .
Then after tat go see doc with MJ.
haiz....