different angle

Different angle





When waiting for train at Jurong east after work,
someone tap my shoulder, its my senior edmund.
so qiao, i am like "ehhhhh its you ah"
haha.... then realise he also working at raffles city today,
maybe we took e same train also dono. lol...
we chat about our jobs, then he suggest mii to change job with better pay,
cos now i having holiday also.
but i just plain lazy to change....
a new job need adapt to alot of things...

today really a big day, get scold by customers. stand there
for so many hours with no customers to entertain mii... (hehe)
life is full of unbelievable thing (random thought)

today i bought I magazine to kill my time at work.
(cos its e cheapest, U magazine no stock le)
read something interesting
"every outcome of things depends on how u look at it,
different angles of viewing will give u different effects and results"
"u shouldn't reappear in my life, but i am glad tat it don't hurts anymore"

THE END

1st day

1st day





Today is the first day tat dear went to thailand.
i ask my self to wake up earlier to give him a call,
but end up 7 am then wake up.
when msg dear, he dint reply. i panic, so i call him, its shut off...
for one moment, i feel down...
i know he had already boarded the plane,
but somehow i just feel tat he is so far from mii... i just feel panic, down.

dear, i only receive 1 msg from u today.
i am waiting for ur call...
u told mii don call u, don reply u...
so i am waiting....

wat are u doing now?
having fun?
should be very busy, unlike mii....
just came back from work, bathed and now blogging...
i am so tired.
2moro working, sunday also working. monday meeting. tue, wed.... working.

Dear I MISS YOU BADLY

Feeling light-hear ted

Feeling light-hearted


today is the last day of my year 2.
during 2nd breakup then pon lesson le.
went with dear n ben to IT helpdesk to fix his VPN connection.
well, my predicted module grade for this module is C+, and i pon for the last day.
n i am sure i can get good grade today,
just feel light-hearted.

Dear going to left for thailand trip soon, its only this coming thurs.
2moro i work full, sun i work till 3pm (chinese new year eve), mon, tue new year time.
so i get to see him for wed, not for the whole day still.
just thought today pon might give us a little more time together.
Hhaha. so i missed the treat that our Faci is treating us.

after pon lesson, we went to Jurong Point to shop.
but decide to eat first. N we ate at this chinese restaurant at basement.
After eating we walk around, then feel tired so went home le.
So bored, its only 3pm. no one at home, guess wat, i slept through out....
when wake up is around 8pm. total darkness. still no one home.

n guess something, i am not even hungry till now. I slept too much, guess my stomach
still need time to digest my lunch.
2moro will be working full, all i wan is to distract myself from everything.
its like just wan to find someting to concentrate so tat u wont be having e energy to think of other things. Just like "distraction".

today i learned how to use livejournal, and set up my own account.
haha... so i did spent my time wisely today.
dint i? well. maybe a little not... haha
I know i should be sleepin now, but i can tell u tat i am fully awake now.

last day of school

Last day of school

next week will be the last week of school.
all i feel is not coming to school...
as the days goes by i am feeling really restless.
every day feel like goin home to sleep.
but when reach home i will find it hard to rest...

i keep thinking.
then think again.
n think some more.
some times.....
y are u doin this to me.

all the time wanted good results, but having good
attendance doesn't mean anything.
y do u give me the chance to do well, but still
let me flunk my tests...

y do u give me the chance to be leaders
but in e end give me more troubles.

some times i just think of going home to sleep.
just let mii sleep well without any sickness.
i need a good rest.

separatedx

Separated

walking in the rain today.
it really did kill the flame in my heart
i will not wan anything anymore...
GONE.

I walk all the way through the rain like no one business.
only at this point of time, even u cry also know one notice.
but i cant feel my tears though, think i have them all out
in the toilet le ba.
i have thought it through.
really think alot
there are more quarrels than i thought.
big n small.
now can still quarrel in public like no one business.
but i am still a girl. i still wan the face.
but i seems to get nothin of tat.
i am drenched but now have a clearer mind le.

girls need to pamper, cos they are emotional.
they are selfish in this area. thought it is reasonable to request to be pamper.
when they cry they need comfort. not shouts.

pamper yourself, buy something

Pamper yourself, buy something

new year is coming, find something to pamper yourself.

hamperchewyflux.blogspot

I felt xxx

I felt xxx






i feel moody,
i feel tired,
i feel sleepy,
i feel stressed,
i feel lost

I feel like running away from everyone.
i don wan to celebrate wat birthday.
just don remind me of more responsibility and my future.
I wanted to have only now, this min, this sec.

Not up to standard

Not up to standard





Thought of showing myself that i can make a difference.
Find e chance, prove myself, joined Council.
But i realize i am still not tat good to get things done by my own.
As days went by, i thought tat maybe i should just mind my own business.
Just be a good student, attend my lesson and Graduate with my own business.

Fed up with school life. I wanted a goal. It is there but i am not working on it.
I thought, i thought maybe i can still be the star but
what have i done.
I am plain lazy.

Today is my first day of school
ZZZZZ

2nd day of 2009

2nd day of 2009







counting down to 7 days, then i am 20 le.
oh man, its 20. Starting with 2.
well well well....
now cant act cute le. whahahhaha...

thinking back now, i haven really done anything broad
or very memorable thing when i am below 20.
maybe i should try something like bare swimming....
hwahhahahhahaha.
lol. sure no problem, cos no one bother to see.
mmm...



let me see, let me think...
i think my teenage life is rather plain,
gone to pub once, go to club twice.
gone drinking once a while. (limited in drinking)
mmm.
then gone crazy once a while,
like dating online guy who is living in neighbourhood.
nearly gone into different race relationship, jie-di lian,
and anyhow try try out relationship..
I think i really nothin better to do loh, tats y if got chance to do something
out of my original life, i will do it.
I can say that my love relationship is rather 'anyhow' before i met my dear as classmate.
its e first time i think seriously of future.
.......

well, people may think why i wanted to try interesting things before i turn 20.
cos i just don wan to turn old one day recalling tat i haven really done anything exciting.
>>>>>>

i have being a very very good student for a long time, till one day i realize
being guai is not e type who can survive in this world.
once i am being outclassed by classmates for being teachers' good student.
When u are forced to be the role model in teacher's eyes,
u are also becoming the needle in friends eyes.



I am a very very emotional girl, thus i really care alot of other peoples thoughts about me.
my confident and support comes from people around me.
when i am young, i thought friends were everything. i dont think i can live
without friends. tats y those who are friends, i can swear i dint backstab before.
when i am younger(primary), i thought the only way to have less classmates to hate me
and to have more friends is to become a normal grade student.
thus i reject my p4 teacher's recommendation to become Prefect,
can see tat i really wan to be normal... i don wan to be e best,
i just wan to receive more loves from friends.
...........

when i reached secondary school, i turn more n more to become a normal quiet student.
i just do my work, submit my work, i don wan attention from teachers.
but i think i do wan attention from my parents, thus i still try hard to get grades,
but becoming lazier n lazier each year.
i get rather good results to promote to sec 3E2. second best class,
and after tat i successfully become a too normal student, with very normal grades
and normal attention from teachers.
nothin special about my grades and nothing interesting to mention about my progress.
in primary school, i can be the star standing on the stage.
my role changed to an audience in sec 3 n 4 life. I become the one clapping, not the one being applause at.
..................

i swear i am not going to be a good/guai student, thus i turn towards becoming bad.
actually don dare to be over bad anyway... I am still a coward after all.
e worse thing i ever tried is smoking. when i am very young, when i am stil a kid, i tried it with my cousins. one puff and thats it.... cough cough cough.
hahahaha.
when i am teenager i tried once, and same thing happens.... cough cough cough.
hahahahhahaha...
i can never turn too bad, i think.
thus being bad depend not only on fate, it also depend on courage. isnt it?
-------------------------

i rem looking back at my photos when i am still a young kid.
i cant find a trace of smile on my face in the photos which i took.
i am rather a emoing type of child since i am borned.
cos i am a girl, tats my parents were given a chance to give me away or keep.
my grandma managed to persuade to keep me.
~



i was borned not knowing tat i am not being welcomed,
tats y i came to this world hope to collect more love to build up my confidence.
i will be living in this world for 20 years soon.
i have got everything.... one should be contented.
thinking back now, i have done really silly things to prevent letting go the ones which
i wanted to myself.
.............
i started giving up on studies when i am in sec 3.
i actually thought of just get into some where to study canle.
i lost the motivation, i cant find them in my family.
i needed love, rem? i gained confidence through the support of the people who i love.
when they dont believe tat i am goin to get to a uni, i thought maybe tats it. tats
how long i can go in my school life.
....
i rem when i am being top in primary school is because i am moving towards wat my cousin think i can do. he gives me the image of my pretty future where i can see my self graduating in university. but i lost the support since he went back to china. my parents don believe i can go far. n i just think so too.
......


well, i am not a sporty girl, not a attractive girl, not a adventurous type.
i am afraid, terrified of height (cos being pushed down during sec 3 camp(flying fox)
i cant swim, cos nearly drowned...
i cant wear bikini, cos i don wan to laugh at myself first.
i cant go clubbing, cos all i can do is sit there n look at those slim bodies dancing there.
N i cant drink... saddest of all.
i cant ride bicycle, cos i fall down(over the big stone) with my father when i am a kid.
i cant do anything outdoor. OK! i can walk, play badminton, throw ball and hit by the ball.
.........
few days more i am turning 20,
then i am getting married,
then i am going to be mother, grandmother... then i will
say bb.
but before i get married, i wanted to achieve something.
anything tat i can achieve needs some confidence.
....
oh ya till now i haven get the chance to go other countries by myself.
i only went to china(hometown) n singapore.whahahha...
.....
now i am studying in poly year 2, going to year 3 very soon(2months more)
then i am 21, whahahah. sians.
after am over 20, don think u will heard me mentioning about my age le.
k. don ask me hoh.


LOTES OF CONFIDENCE FOR MYSELF