Let me scan through

Let Miii Scan through...

I also not sure when did i start to like my e last word of my name-"xia" with e meaning as rosy cloud. Think of it, being a cloud, i can be anything and warm towards anything. haha. Well...Nice to feel tat way now n then, it will makes my life more meaningful yeah.haha.

Let me see, in the past i thought i like raining, i like to let it fall on me (of cos when there is nothing important which i carried). As i always choose to believe tat the cool raindrop would rinse away all e unhappiness. Listenin to the raindrops fallin is like clicking on the backspace on our keyboard. Well. tat will be e past, as now i don really like to feel tat way as i understand that no matter how heavy e rain can be, in the end troubles are still there.

Now i don really like raining tat much, i began to fall in love with the scene after raining. Not e sun rising up afte rain, just the fresh feelings of the world which seems to be washed clean by the rain. Even the breeze feels so cooling, even e air can be so clean. Maybe it gives me a feeling of fresh and clean, just like a new beginning. mmm.Life is full of this n that, things which u like tend to changes over time when you met with different stages of people.

Among the leaves, i like autumm leaves e most. looking at them drop down makes me sad but looking at them shine under the sun makes me feel so warm. Ok. this post is really not gettin anywhere, not for u guys to no more about me but for myself to know where i am. So people out there, u can choose to close one eye or both also can.

Being realistic

So how much does 2 semester differs?



let me see...if i say the first week during the first semester, i got all As for all the modules. But now for e first week of the 2nd semester, i had being getting 2 Bs le. ok. see the difference? haha. Let me eleborate further.



Having a new class for 2nd semester, i really feel the tension. Not the tension between new classmates, it is a non-verbal tension. It is wat i felt in my heart only. This new class is very different from previous one, everyone present so well. Really stress sometimes when need to compete silently for a good grade, in a class where everyone are able to show that they are discussing well and present so well. It is kind of hard to get a good grade like before.


Past friends given up?

Sometimes being more tensed up with the problem, i choose not to go for breakouts but went to have lunch with my new classmates after we had finished doing our work. This makes our work easier when we are able to go back class together and do work together. But i did not forget my past classmates, really! In my life, i treasure friendship the most after my family. So my friends please dont doubt on me when i say i treasure our friendship. When i say i miss e times when we laugh together and joke around, dont ever doubt on me.

Friends out there, i really apologised for my behavior of stayin away with u guys. I havin realistic, really, too much things makes me lost trust in friends believin tat they will be there for you no matter wat. I also not sure when did i start to tell myself tat friends are not forever, they will leave u one day. Betrayin by friends makes mii feel tat way so please don blame me for being too realistic. I only understand tat i treasure my friends as long as i am with them. Overall, i really treasure friends.

searching

Searching

I am searchin n finding n found tat i am beyond my own control. I do so many stupid stuff, believing people who i should not believe. Doin stuff which i shouldnt do. I lost it, my way forward. i lost track of how fast the time goes. Kind of calm in e surface but deep in my heart i had lost my way. I became more n more not knowin who should i believe and start to like lookin at blank pages of the new blog post n put my feelings in it without writting them down.

My friend laugh at me, she says i like to write my blog with content which is connected to Him. Well, i told her tat i did not write anything about him since e day i saw him with his new girl friend's photo on msn. I dont deny tat i had been lookin at blank posts now and then but dont dare to write any thing down. Writting them down would become a fullstop between us, even friendship. Tat would mean i had nothin to do with him any more. After a week now, i write this down. A fullstop. We had not being contacting each other for a long time. of cos he would be happy for tat la. dots.

THE END

School reopen 2moro

School reopen 2moro lei. SIanzzz....rather earn money. lol.

New semester

New group of friends

New facilitator

New class

New way of engagement

New feeling

All e best to me.

So here goes my 100 bucks...

So here goes my 100 bucks...


2day die die also must spent some of my salary before school reopen. Yeah, agree with me ba. Need to treat myself good de ma. Work for 3 weeks le, so nvm to spent so much in one day. Wanting n her sis n me meet at CCk de plateform and off we go to Bugis to shop, she so reluctant to go cos she just went there recently n had spent an amount at there too.





In e end still went with me and in the end it turns out to be my turn to regret coming to Bugis, cos i really buy things without blinking my eyes. Haaa. We eat our lunch then buy drinks, then buy food then shop. Wao, i think i bought everything i want le. Shoes, watch, 2 shirts, shorts, belts, then after shoppin we go have our dinner. QQ mian which cost $4 bucks each, it is nice loh. haha. So after paying for my dinner, i realise tat i only got $1 left in my wallet, pity myself then but tat evil friend of mine still ask me to use up tat $1 on drink. haha. ... Really bought alot and we nearly shop every where of the bugis street le. It is a very satisfied day, i spent over hundreds in one go. Nvm, wanting spent more then me so i am not tat sad la. Nice n fun day spent at bugis, money can make e world goes round, true in many sense loh.

Though window shoppin maybe fun, but having money to get those stuff which u wan is more fun. haha. Friends rox, money rox too. Well, friends more la. hehexxx...

Words sometimes cant help to express your feelings.

Words sometimes cant help to express your feelings.

Really don know how to express my feelings in blog sometimes, after my last post here, i often look at the blank page and thought of wat i am goin to express here but end up writtin nothin.

When you feel sad, real sad, it is more than words to express, that is why i hesitate to write down my feelings for the previous days. I thought of writtin more about him, who is in my previous memory but I understand tat if i do more things which is related about him, i would end up hurting myself more. In the past, i thought tat he had actually broken the promises he made and recently i started to doubt on my thinkin. Did he really promise anything? Nop, even if he had, the promises had already gone sour and weight as light as the feather. I find tat the best word to describe about us is fullstop. Short, simple, nice and clear cut.

When you end a relationship, no one is at wrong, no one at all, it is only who don treasure who. He just only found someone who he thought tat he wanted to treasure, so wats wrong with tat. Nah...rubbish. Ok. I am just givin my self some where to come down the stage before embarrasing myself further. haha. Nvm. Really a fullstop. Just like my pair of star earrings which broken into two parts last night, a nice fullstop although i really like tat pair of earrings.

Well, today go find my friend jinhua at lot one at 4 something, she is doin her homework there, so i brought my laptop along to play games.haha. At the same time, Wanting sms me and ask mii whether i wan go eat dinner, but just meet jinhua and we are still waiting for another friend of us to come so i thought of maybe wanting can come to library to find us then later we can have dinner together. She dont wan to join us, but only her go eat dinner herself cos Sandra cant meet her as she is workin.

I felt bad about it for not accompany her to eat cos i can hear from her voice tat she is not feelin happy when i called her and ask her where she was. U see. i am very sensitive de, i told her tat i am at library and when she is also at library, she don even wan to come find mii. So i thought maybe she is really not happy and sad over something. She wanted to be alone tat time, or maybe she wanted someone to be there but no one right. Me with my friends, Sandra workin and chaileng too. Really sorry about tat, but 2moro we two are goin bugis yeah.haha.my off day too. so maybe she can share with me more. Hope so. Ok i will end here for today.