recently

Recently


Friends had been discussing about going to Uni recently.
Talkin about their desired Uni... Sharing.
Obviously, I am not contributing it.
Hell. I dont even dare to say I also wanted to go Uni.
Cos I really wanted to go, but i am one kind who look at current state to
predict my future.
Since the day i landed in RP, i doubted...Doubted on my idea
on going Uni.
Well, how am i goin to say proudly tat i am goin to make my way to an desired Poly
when i cant even get into my desired course. haha...
No comment on tat.
Blame who yeah.

Nvm....
At least i am not struggling now.
So......
All e best to year 2 ba..
Jia You

when did i last update

When did i stop updating my blog?

I am not random k! i just felt hopeless with e feeling of not doing things which i have interest in. Thinking of it makes me feel miserable, Wat am i?
When is the last time i do something proud, i cant even rem.
Well, after consulting my Module mentor and my friends-
both secondary and current poly classmates.
I make one U turn back to my original state, which means i am not goin anywhere k.

First, there is no course changing in RP.
Secondly, changing poly needs to start one more year-
which means i will study 4 years of Poly.
Shit la...I am not goin to do that.
Landing up in Poly already let my parents pay so much le,
additional one year of studying means a lot.
Thirdly, my Olevel grade is not enough to get to business course in any poly,
it is a very big risk if i change poly.
Anyway GPA does not help you, can.
Ok...so like wat friend had say, when we cant change things,
we need to find ways to like it.
We do need to survive in this world right,
so whatever the problem,
we need to solve it whether or not it is within your likeness or not.

So here I am...In RP...
Like wat faci said, students here are not stress,
so where need to worry. But isnt it the reason why i am afraid,

frightened of the idea that i am not goin to make a way through my course in future.

Wao

wao... unblievable

guess wat!

Its 8.45 am when i step into class.

N

it is empty.

now is 8.50.

N

it is still empty...

hahah..

i am e only one.

haha.

okok. i am too excited

Any way e lesson start at 9 am.

N today is cuture module.

a surprise

A surprise birthday surprise...

haha...

Here i wish my besti hua a

BERRY

HAPPY

BIRTHDAY.

haha

I brought a group of friends to her house with presents

n

cakes and drinks.

Guess wat!!!

She is bathin at tat time...

so wat we do?

we went inside her house then sit there in her living room

Her parents n siblings all at home.

So we didnt make any sound and waited...

N

haha...

with a towel on top of her wet head, she stare at us

like we went to e wrong house like tat.

haha

...

Ok ...

we took photos together

eat cake

sing song.

see her unpack the presents

read the hand made birthday card which

is made by mii and with all of our wishes in there.

...

really

i can see her tears coming.

.....

No need to tank mii de

I just feel sad tat u have ur birthday for 2007 with only

ur family members.

IT must be a memorable one with lots of friends wishes

damn O level

It wont affect ur day with us de.

....

cheers

my besti...

after O

we will celebrate..

JIa you!!!

Dont matter.

Life is gettin boring.

Lol.

No achivements.

Nothing matters.

Just slackin

Both emotionally and physically.

I hate school.

Dont bother....NOthing matters.

Sucks. present. When is goin to lead to future.

Why bother...

Try-deep thought...

Try

My cousins- two of them.
My once so caring cousins.
2 days before i had a chat with one of them online.
though both of them may be in china at e moment
n get married and have their own children and home.
.....

But they still, they did STILL
believe in mii, they always will encourage mii
n say they know i will always try my best.
.....

I am in deep thought everytime i chat with them.
no matter how many years had been apart,
they still care about my progress.
.....
one my cousin says that "if u didnt try, how would you no u cant do it"
I rem when they had been there for mii when i start primary school,
with my parents who are uneducated, these 2 cousins taught mii
most of e morale values and education.

......
They brought my brother n mii to e first library
exploration in our life after
we step into Singapore. Bringing their future wife along,
i felt e happiness of
a family goin out together. My parents didnt even go to library be4,
if not becos of my
cousins, i think i would not fall in love with e enjoyment of the novels.
The type of love i have for them is not easy to
express, it somehow become a gratitude towards them.
.....
I suppose i did afraid to call them- long distance call,
sometimes avoided to talk to them on phone.
......
Dont mistaken mii
.....
I am just
just too embarrase to face them.
Listening to their encouragements, i felt heavy- in my heart.
Wat had i done after they left mii, did i done some thing proud.
.....
NO. I told them how unsuccessful i had become, but they
did not agree with mii.
they believed in mii n wanted mii to try.

.....
tears rises to the eyelid.
swallowed it into the small corner in my own little space.

......

Deed thought....