Try-deep thought...

Try

My cousins- two of them.
My once so caring cousins.
2 days before i had a chat with one of them online.
though both of them may be in china at e moment
n get married and have their own children and home.
.....

But they still, they did STILL
believe in mii, they always will encourage mii
n say they know i will always try my best.
.....

I am in deep thought everytime i chat with them.
no matter how many years had been apart,
they still care about my progress.
.....
one my cousin says that "if u didnt try, how would you no u cant do it"
I rem when they had been there for mii when i start primary school,
with my parents who are uneducated, these 2 cousins taught mii
most of e morale values and education.

......
They brought my brother n mii to e first library
exploration in our life after
we step into Singapore. Bringing their future wife along,
i felt e happiness of
a family goin out together. My parents didnt even go to library be4,
if not becos of my
cousins, i think i would not fall in love with e enjoyment of the novels.
The type of love i have for them is not easy to
express, it somehow become a gratitude towards them.
.....
I suppose i did afraid to call them- long distance call,
sometimes avoided to talk to them on phone.
......
Dont mistaken mii
.....
I am just
just too embarrase to face them.
Listening to their encouragements, i felt heavy- in my heart.
Wat had i done after they left mii, did i done some thing proud.
.....
NO. I told them how unsuccessful i had become, but they
did not agree with mii.
they believed in mii n wanted mii to try.

.....
tears rises to the eyelid.
swallowed it into the small corner in my own little space.

......

Deed thought....

Ur birthday

Its an empty promise in mii

Oct coming.

Ur birthday cames...

out of no where, i am afraid.

cos its something which is related to u.

13 th of oct.

ur birthday....

Thought of gettin u a present months before.

.....

Don ask mii y

......

Ever since i saw ur msn picture with her.

I know.I knew.

I am foolish.....

Buyin a present for u is not the major thing.

IF i buy it, it would become another thing which

is related to u.

I wan nothin more from u.

cos u r hers.

" the one who can heal ur past wounds"

sound familiar yeah?

haha...

lol

........

Ever being so foolish?

Dont ask me y!

Dont ask me why!

I am jus tryin to find some to express out my

feelings.
Since when, i realise i am being to soft in my feelings.

I depended and needed friends so much.

which resulted in me not able to control my own

feelings when friends start to

stay away from me, betray me or

dont talk to me.

I tend to imagine alot of stuf when u suddenly don talk to mii

I feel it, somehow with no explanation.

just feel not right.

Then u will see me emoing down there...

don ask mii y.

i cared thats y i tend to think alot.

This new class, really hope i can blend into it.

with new friends, its a beginning.

I missed my last class.

misses.....

Don be mistaken tat i am€ not happy in my new class

just tat don have the feelin like e previous class

Dont ask mii y./.\"

I just dont like people to dislike mii.

I am being stupid enough

to make sure i bring laughter.

I have always treated everyone nice.

With a sincere smile.

I am afraid of losing anyone of u.

Really.

But i must rem something,

i cant be tat good.

not possible to make everyone like mii..

no matter how good or sincere i am

there will always have people who disagree with u.

I need to change my mindset.

Hoping too much

only ending up hurting urself.

So why not

hope for something low and

safe urself from injuries.

Damn system

RP RJ system...damn it

Stupid this system la, need to sent in RJ by 12am.

If not then will bann u outside.

So frustrated sia.
do finish then can sent it.
I cant connect to the internet thus
by the time i am able to sign in to LEO,

it is 12.01- RJ summison closed.
damn damn hell la.

Just short of 1 min lei. /.\''

.......

ok, i sent the RJ by attachment to the Faci.
All the best la, hope he still can accept it.

LOL!!

.......

Nvm.forget it.

lets talk about the tuition which i gave today.

Last min lookin through my Outlook email,
saw that there is suppose to have a tuition thing

in e afternoon.

No money for it, so it is considered as
volunteer work.
Under my IG- Service learning club.
these group teens are from the YMCA- youth at risk.
So after lesson finish at 4.30, other friends who are
also under this project meet together

anD
off we go to the tuition center to meet the teens
.....

Hhaah.

guess wat

some of them were smoking outside when we reach..
haha.nothing to comment about that.
......

They can be really dramatic and can do stuff which makes u laugh till tears appear.

n also stuff which will makes u scream on top

of ur voice.

haha. Luckily the teen which i teach with Misa is a willin to learn person.

These teens are having their exams these coming weeks.

So consider as last min revision ba.
.....

So concluding wat i felt, i don think they are prepared for the exam.

mmm...
but it is good tat e guy which i taught is showing signs tat he want to learn.
.....

okide.

2moro will also go to teach these teens again.
all the best to mii n them.

haha...

Jia you

Updating...process

Planned to meet hua at 6.30 tis morning to play badminton.Wao...:)
Guess wat.

I wake up at 8.30 in a jerk to see hua's sms tat says
she don wan to play badminton le.

Hhaa.Luckily she says tat...cos i wake up late too.

...

So as usual, work e whole day.
Today business super good.
short of 14 bucks can meet target of 6oo dollars

lol. I nearly go out and snatch passerby n force them buy.

haha...well.Tat is for e day.

Super duper tired.

....

tat guardian shop's sales assitant told mii yesterday
tat they will call me today for the confirmation of the job.

lol. waited n waited.....

Silent mode sia./.\''

dono 2moro after school wan go ask again mah

really lookin for 1 more job..
Pitiful bank account.

lol..
........

2moro school reopen again.

life goes on

sian.

go school
after school
weekend

work

hang out with friends.

'='

Where is my target n my goal.

Really don let my self look down on myself one day.

.....

cheers
Jia You

Moon cake festival.

Hey, wat is today?

So mooncake for today? not tat significance la. But when u are celebrating with a group of friends then i can i say it is meaningful. Today i really had my schedule fully packed, after lesson ended, i rushed my rj but didnt manage to finish it. After tat i rush for the YMCA briefing at 5 pm, which is actually the day with the teenagers from youth at risk and i had actually forget about tat. I thought is only a briefing or something on YMCA.

Well, from the last time i saw them until now, it had been over a month le, thus i do not really remember their names already. Nvm, nt e main point. So we played games together and chit chat till 6 something and then we had this reflection time when all of us including the planner and the youths are sitting down n share about how they feel of the day playing the games which we had arranged. And it is also e time when the youths are able to come out with more ideas on e type of games which they would like to have during the next session. Their exams are starting from next week but the guys obviously did not wnt to have any revision or help from us. Only tat two girls are asking for help on revising. All of them are from normal tech n achedemic, and are at a risk of being expelled from school. So planning games for them is to help them spent their time wisely rather than smoke and loitter around blocks. But for the revison part, we as the planners are willing to help them if they wanted our advice or revision. So if they dont want, we also cant do anything.

After our dismisal with e youths, I saw B de msg n miss call. I am really sorry tat i did not reply cos we are puttin our bags aside when playing the games. So he msg me to tell him when i had finish, but it is like 45 min later then i reply him. So when i called him back, he is at his house lift n reaching home. He says he not feelin well so he go home first. Well, we chatted on phone during my way to causeway to meet my friends.

The whole session of the YMCA end earlier than expected, from expecting 8pm to 6pm. So too earlier to stand at the control station to wait for vinci and Hao to come when we are actually meeting at 8.30. So i sms them to come earlier, luckily they are able to come out asap. Inbetween e time of waitin, Afika n me went to have an ice cream at Mac, to pass my time n hers as she is waitin for her parents.

After meeting with Vinci n Hao, we went to have dinner at Sweensen to celebrate Hao's belated birthday. Haha. Hope she is happy with the present which i had bought from my shop. So we happily eated our orders and after tat, i start to continue my Rj cos i am goin to meet another group of friends after we had dinner together. Luckily inside sweensen, there is wireless available. So manage to finish up RJ and summit it on time.

With e RJ summited, i can go enjoy myself with the other friends le. Yiwen n his boyfriend, Qiao min, her god brother n xiao hui. We went to this open area or open roof on top of one of the blocks at bukit batok. There is so nice as the moon is directly on top of u and the space is so big tat you can do anything. Nothing covered from u, so it is so relaxing. So we light up a love shape candles- with hundred time of failure due to strong wind. haha. then we also play lanterns together and other stuffs which i dono wat it is called. Aiii...Mom called to rush me home so bo bian, i went home first with them stopping a taxi for me. Thanks sia, u can just imagine the driver's face when he saw so many people wavin for one taxi and turn out to be only 1 passenger. haha. Well i really did enjoy my self though i know them only recently. N very pai sei tat i did not pay for any of the lanterns n candles n firework.haha.they are so nice. really. It is fun. So by the time i reach home it is 12.30am liao le, so now i really need to go sleep le. 2moro school again.