Sunday, September 2, 2007

really dislike can?


Really dislike can?


I really dislike the feeling of loneliness, so I also do not like those people who last minute cancels off something. If it is someone who is not important to me, I don’t think I care. There is a story behind it, during one of my past birthday; a group of my friends who planned to meet me to celebrate my birthday canceled the outing when I am already on the way to meet them. I was lonely, really upset over it, even till now. Every year for my birthday, I only wanted a group of my friends to stay by my side to celebrate my birthday, only sincerely and have fun together. That is so simple, isn’t it? I just do not like to feel the feeling of loneliness, especially during my birthday.
That day, he SMS me for supper at night and I reply him ok but need to wait till 10 pm after my work finish. He did not reply after that and I predicted that the meeting won’t turn out right in the end. As I expected he really SMS me at 10 pm to tell me that he do not think he is meeting me as he had a heavy dinner and was still full. So supper is canceled. I think for a while of how to reply his msg, thought of telling him that I did not have my dinner because he says will be having supper. But in the end, I only manage to type out the word “ok” to him. I am upset, I hate loneliness, especially that night I work at Bugis, and I was the last one to close the pushcart so feel so lonely. It is dark, no one there to listen to my complain of him, I am tired and angry. Hungry too, I smiled to my silly thought when I ask myself whether he cared of whether I had eaten or not. No, he doesn’t care. Shit. I really hate myself and start to dislike him too. He really let me have a taste of loneliness for so many nights. And I hate loneliness the most. I remember him told me before that he is sensitive and so he should be able to feel that I start to dislike him le. Mmm. I really feel sick and tired. We are still friends ba.


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