Another week ahead
Tomoro is another Monday, second week of my school holiday.
I start it with workin...
2moro will be working, but different from today, i will be workin at bishan 2moro.
mmm..
Actually a bit of change of workplace from Raffles city to BiShan seems to be fine with me.
Workin at e same place seems to be depressing, same as my lifestyle in RP.
haiz...
holiday comes, school starts, new class with totally new bunch of classmates, tests comes, projects comes, meetings coming, proposals, camps, CCA project, holiday comes, school starts, new class with totally new bunch of classmates, major projects comes and life goes on.
Went back to secondary school on friday with Shan, Ting, Cherly, Leng, Sandra.
Did i ever mention to them everytime they talk about the process of their poly life to our ex teachers, i am numb, prayin tat my ex teachers wont ask me.
at that point of time, i hope everyone just carry on e conversation, carry on with their plannin of their poly. with their attachments and projects.
Attachments? I am not having tat... I dont even dare to mention that.
I should be havin tat.
every moment i think of that, i would realise my life had turned upside down.
How to tell my friends, i am not havin a relaxin time though i seems to be e lucky one with out worries about attachements and projects and exams.
Everytime they discuss about how tense are they recently due to their exams,
comparing about their course, their attachments, their results.
I am shut off... shut off. shut off to the max.
I wanted that, all i wanted is to have all those you all have.
I wanted to be studyin for the exams, stressin over attachments, stressin over the marks i have.
But all this is gone, i cant have it. I have no one to share with me about the progress. cos i cant find anything compatible between us this group of girls. I can see, can feel the way you all feel when you all discuss about school work and school life. sometimes i can see that you all wan to join me in your discussions, but just dono how to do that and whether it is a good thing not.
how to join mi in? " how is your studies in RP? how is your results? what you all doin now in school ah?" Noop... its not your faults, its mine. its my self wantin to shut off from you guys every time when come to discussion with "hows your school, hows your life". cos e questions which i listed above is what i am askin myself everyday.
last sat i finally say everything out with Dear. I thought he will just say things to stop me from thinkin all this unneccesary thoughts, but he didnt. Dear listened to all, helping me to find a better way of understanding my situation. "why should i be worrying about my future, what i wanted to do when i have not really hve the target which i want to meet" Dear told me to give myself time, i should give myself time to find my target, before dashing anyhow without direction forwards and complaining i have achieve nothing.
how is it possible to achieve anything when there is no target set infront of me. Thanks dear to be with me, sorry when i say my life is upside down now.
I start it with workin...
2moro will be working, but different from today, i will be workin at bishan 2moro.
mmm..
Actually a bit of change of workplace from Raffles city to BiShan seems to be fine with me.
Workin at e same place seems to be depressing, same as my lifestyle in RP.
haiz...
holiday comes, school starts, new class with totally new bunch of classmates, tests comes, projects comes, meetings coming, proposals, camps, CCA project, holiday comes, school starts, new class with totally new bunch of classmates, major projects comes and life goes on.
Went back to secondary school on friday with Shan, Ting, Cherly, Leng, Sandra.
Did i ever mention to them everytime they talk about the process of their poly life to our ex teachers, i am numb, prayin tat my ex teachers wont ask me.
at that point of time, i hope everyone just carry on e conversation, carry on with their plannin of their poly. with their attachments and projects.
Attachments? I am not having tat... I dont even dare to mention that.
I should be havin tat.
every moment i think of that, i would realise my life had turned upside down.
How to tell my friends, i am not havin a relaxin time though i seems to be e lucky one with out worries about attachements and projects and exams.
Everytime they discuss about how tense are they recently due to their exams,
comparing about their course, their attachments, their results.
I am shut off... shut off. shut off to the max.
I wanted that, all i wanted is to have all those you all have.
I wanted to be studyin for the exams, stressin over attachments, stressin over the marks i have.
But all this is gone, i cant have it. I have no one to share with me about the progress. cos i cant find anything compatible between us this group of girls. I can see, can feel the way you all feel when you all discuss about school work and school life. sometimes i can see that you all wan to join me in your discussions, but just dono how to do that and whether it is a good thing not.
how to join mi in? " how is your studies in RP? how is your results? what you all doin now in school ah?" Noop... its not your faults, its mine. its my self wantin to shut off from you guys every time when come to discussion with "hows your school, hows your life". cos e questions which i listed above is what i am askin myself everyday.
last sat i finally say everything out with Dear. I thought he will just say things to stop me from thinkin all this unneccesary thoughts, but he didnt. Dear listened to all, helping me to find a better way of understanding my situation. "why should i be worrying about my future, what i wanted to do when i have not really hve the target which i want to meet" Dear told me to give myself time, i should give myself time to find my target, before dashing anyhow without direction forwards and complaining i have achieve nothing.
how is it possible to achieve anything when there is no target set infront of me. Thanks dear to be with me, sorry when i say my life is upside down now.
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